A Sunny Thought

Let's Talk Apples

2009-10-05T23:41:00.003-03:00

It's been a little rough this fall, being on unemployment and all. I've junked most of my favorite brands and bought whatever is on sale. My downfall is usually expensive produce which I can get cheaper at the produce store, but I would be lying if I said I don't fall pray to the lovely layouts at Whole Foods.

However, there is one thing I can't give up. My beloved HoneyCrisp apple. It's like candy in an apple. If you've had one, you know what I am talking about. I can proudly say that this apple was harvested less then two miles from where I grew up in Chaska, Minnesota at the University of Minnesota's Arboretum.

For years, the Haralson apple was the apple to get. It's super tart and awesome in pies. But the HoneyCrisp which was introduced in 1991, has quickly taken over as the most popular apple in the state. It's two toned color, a nice tawny yellow and a red is totally gorgeous. It's interesting that the original tree that was growing at the arboretum was scheduled for removal until some guy at the University stopped the process. We owe a lot to that guy. The tree was growing in the 1960's and was disregarded for years.

Go get yourself a few of these, I've seen them as high as $3.49 per pound, but they are often at $2.49 per pound. It's well worth it, they are delicious in salads, and kids love them in place of crap snacks.

Sometimes Reconnecting is a Process....

2009-08-25T01:52:00.003-03:00

Well, it's not the end of summer yet, but close enough. I've always said I wouldn't apologize for not blogging. For someone who had to do all summer, I've been completely busy. I had the opportunity to help my mom; and am going back up to Minnesota next week to celebrate her 80th year.

The best part of the summer has been able to have precious time with the girl. We haven't done much of anything; many sleepovers with all of her friends, and impromptu trip to Michigan; some good talks and hanging out.

My dear friends Cristina and Wendy opened their store finally. It's nice to see two people I love doing what they love: Retail...who would a thought. But in this climate, it's nice to see someone with the balls to open a store, and I think they will have great success.

My stepson Adam went through Driver's training, and now most conversations consist of him asking if he can drive my car and me saying no. It's hilarious. His father has taken him test driving in his '98 Camry stick shift and watching him come back proud, but I can see also he's sentimental that Adam has reached this point; and maybe a little shaken by the kid stripping the gears a bit.

I have a situation I can't talk about here, but it has been a great cause of personal pain...caught between friends and doing what is right; but hurting someone in the midst. But I have no regrets about that.

So, what am I doing about me? I'm still looking for the right job. It's a choice between taking a massive pay cut to go back into an industry (advertising) that I think I would only have another mediocre lifespan or venture on to a new career. Brian gave me the inspiration since he's older than dirt and becoming a nurse at 48 years old; so I am going to try my hand at insurance, I just have to wait for the right opportunity. But pray for me, I hope it comes quickly.

I'm seeing a nutritionist and finally working on this weight loss instead of just watching workout shows and going, "Fuck". Sorry for the expletive, but being fat just sucks.

We had some awesome dinners in our backyard with friends; and mostly little one one one conversations with friends at a time like Traci and Jesse. All of the crap that we went through a couple years ago with all of the remodeling and having a backyard where we had to "walk the planks" to take out our garbage is well worth it now. Our friends (and landlords) Jane and Patrick have used ever single square foot of space to fill our backyard and front with beautiful hastas, flowering plants, tomatoes, a little pond and lots of fun little statues living their lives in the garden....my favorite is the gnome living in the bird cage.

But I would have to say that the nicest moment of my summer (and I'm not taking anything away from the girl) is being home when my man Brian has been here. Normally, with a 9 am - 5 pm job for me, I see Brian in the morning and usually I am asleep by the time he comes home from work. Now in the morning he got my coffee; and he's on the Internet in the kitchen, and I'm in my Kim cave....and he's there. He went and took his summer school classes, and was home before he went to work. It's nice being home with the love of your life.

So that's the summer update kids. I'm still completely stressed about work; my daughter working through her 7th grade benchmark year; Brian and nursing school; my mom, my dad, my brothers and sisters and the mental health and happiness...but sitting here in the late night on my back deck with my honey, as he told me before "there is nothing that Christmas lights can't solve."

A Quick Trip

2009-06-25T00:17:00.004-03:00

I was going over emails yesterday morning and really just have been so impatient by this job search. I've been either having the girl's friends over or shuttling back and forth in between all the job search stuff. I was so annoyed at the weather for the last two days in Chicago, that spur of the moment, I told the girl to throw a bag together and we were taking a short road trip. We went up to Grand Haven, MI and spent the night. I have vacationed there with my family twice before. Ironically, the house we rented happened to be right down the street from our little mom and pop motel. Here are photos from the beach, the house we previously rented, and the sunset last night.

A Week of Considerable Progress.....Ha!

2009-06-21T13:35:00.002-03:00

The girl completed her first week of summer vacation. I've probably sent resumes to 15-20 positions that I know I am qualified for, but not even sure which ones I am most interested. When sending resumes and viewing job profiles, if I come across one that seems like a dream job, I make sure that I don't get too emotionally attached to the job as there is the most likely chance I am going to get stood up before I even get a date.

At the end of the week, there were finally a few more doors open, so I am hoping these turn into actual interviews. It has been nice getting to spend time with the girl while she's been off. It's been hard because the weather just ruins everything, but this week, outside will cooperate it looks like, so mama's going to work on the tan between searching.....

Bad Cover Letters

2009-06-17T00:41:00.004-03:00

As promised, here are some funny examples of bad cover letters. It's kind of a moot point, I actually had a recruiter tell me that she doesn't even read the cover letters. However, in the spirit of doing things the right way, we need to write them anyways.

Hmmmmm! This sounds
like a graduation speech.

To Whom It May Concern:
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was
the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the
spring of hope, the winter of despair, we had everything
before us...". This quote from Charles Dickens captures
the essence of the business world today. We are
presented with opportunities for growth and a lot of
decisions need to be made which will affect all of our
futures. To deal with these choices, help is often needed.
This is why I would like to work for your company.
I have enclosed a copy of my resume which highlights my
skills and experiences. I believe your management
training position is the challenge and opportunity which I
am looking for in my career. I am confident I would be an
asset to your company. Your consideration of my resume
would be greatly appreciated.

I feel like this one gives a perception of arrogance, which is funny, because it's not written very well.

Dear Ms. Smith:
I am interested in applying for you management
training program. I graduated from College USA
with
a degree in Economics. I have done a lot of public
speaking and I have written many papers which
demonstrate my strong communication skills. I am
good at dealing with people and I am a hard
worker.

Why in the heck would you talk about your lack of experience in a cover letter. Seriously?

Dear Ms. Smith:
I should like to be considered a candidate for management training
position in your company. Though I have no previous working
experience in a company such as yours or in the position
advertised, my excellent organizational skills and enthusiasm will
more than make up for my lack of experience. Enclosed please find
a current resume.

This one is totally disorganized. Cover letters need to be short, to the point, and that's it.

Dear Ms. Smith:
I am writing to apply for the position of management trainee in
your company. I would like to be considered an active candidate
for the position.
With four positive years of college behind me, I am looking for a
new challenge and growth in a position that will permit me to use
my people oriented skills.
Enclosed you will find my resume and a list of the people that I
have worked with who I am sure can give you an excellent
background and additional information on the personal abilities
and energies I possess. As an action oriented, people person,
and team player, I'm excited at the potential for growth and
responsibility that this position offers, and I look forward to further
discussions with you.
I look forward to meeting you as you search to find the best
candidate to assume this important staff role.

Lastly, don't ever use the term "people person" or "people oriented" it has to be the most overused cliche in cover letters and interviews. Bad, bad, bad.

A Paid Vacation?

2009-06-13T20:49:00.002-03:00

I realize that the last month at my job, all I did was worry constantly if I was going to keep my job. It left me completely blah with not wanting to blog at all...I just kind of ran out of things to say.

I'm feeling a little differently now. I had a nice week to decompress while awaiting various baits I have in the water to get some nibbles....with the state of the economy, I have a feeling it may be a longer wait than I anticipated. Seriously, I thought because I decided not to participate in this recession, I would just have a job offer a couple days after I was laid off. Instead, I am enjoying the first days of summer with Melody and caught up on every nap that is humanly possible.

The first thing I notice about a job search that is happening is that the old fashioned "do onto others" is basically thrown right out the door. I guess we can thank George W. for that. Human Resource Managers simply do not have the time to go through piles of resumes and send a letter that says "Thanks, but no thanks." If you are lucky, you get an email saying, "We will keep your resume on file should anything come up that fits your qualifications."

If I could find a way to put the "do onto others" attitude back in the job hunting business, I would do it. I think it means a lot to a prospective candidate to at least get some kind of notice that at least your resume has been received...even if it has been rejected.

I have been getting loads of phone calls and emails from either legitimate insurance companies who think my skills are a "great fit" and would I be interested in coming to an interview. When posed the question, "Is this a salaried position or 100% commission?" I get a lot of hemming and hawing. "Well, you have the POTENTIAL to make six figures your first year." No thanks folks, I'll take my mid-level 5 figures and call it a day.

I'm going to be writing about this because it is affecting so many people. I think my next post is going to be about the art of a good cover letter. Boy, have I seen some stinkers.

It's Been Awhile.

2009-05-01T01:16:00.002-03:00

You know. Perhaps I've been uninspired. But really not, just busy by life.

The girl is in the "gifted program" at school. While I appreciate the thought, I have to say, it's no great shakes. I'm finding it harder and harder to accept that my daughter who is pretty much a straight A student has to compete for a spot in a handful of "select" high schools. Seventh grade is the benchmark, and maybe, just MAYBE, if she aces her grades; has perfect attendance, has awesome ISAT scores, and does well on her high school entrance exams, then maybe, she will get into one of the schools of her choice.

Dear Reader, many of you may disagree, making it in life is about competition, and better she learn that now? Perhaps. However, isn't that really due and appropriate when she goes to college? Shouldn't she be able to walk into any school that she chooses and go? If she doesn't make it into one of these "select" schools, I am faced with moving to the 'burbs or sending her to private high school.

I don't understand that. I grew up in a town where everyone had a right and an obligation to do well in school, but they didn't have to compete to get into high school. Isn't it enough that she is trying to keep her enjoyment for math, than piling the pressure of getting into one of these schools?

Why do I stay in the city of Chicago? Well, I guess I am making a choice of luxury. It's not for me. If my daughter and husband was willing to pack it up and move to Skokie tomorrow, I'd be there in a heartbeat. If Melody's father wasn't in town; and I never got remarried, I would be living back in Minnesota. But, I am here because this is my daughter's home. It is what she loves, what she knows, and where she has asked to stay. So, that is what we will try to do. I just don't understand why we can't bring all of the neighborhood high schools up to par to make them all select schools. It's maddening.

In other news......I've kind of reached a new point. On the one hand, I am trying to gather every moment with my kids. They will be off before I know it. Melody said the other day, "Mom, I feel like I was just in kindergarten and now we are talking about high schools" *she is only 12, but they psych them out about it in 6th grade*. Dearest friend Matt, I know that you and Ann are enjoying every second with Elizabeth. Always do so my friend......you are doing it the right way.

On the other hand, I am realizing, that these kids are going to have their own lives someday. And while I have always said that I am going to live with Melody in her dorm room at college; I am starting to see that I have to find myself again, besides being a mom.....otherwise I'll have some very happy therapist when they go off to college.

D.C.

2009-04-12T03:56:00.003-03:00

Damn FaceBook. It sure gets in the way of blogging. This past week, I can blame it on traveling.

Melody and I went to DC with our good friends for Spring Break. I haven't been their in 28 years, so I was ready for some changes. Sure enough, things had changed. I was hoping for some personal insights on this trip. It has been years since I have gotten to take a full week off. I definitely got my weeks worth. Our kids, Melody, Anja, and Julia really were very well behaved, so we didn't have a ton of parent drama to deal with. We travel well together, and the love I have for this family is as close as my own family....we are lucky to have them.

So, rather than a travel blog, I will just give you some of my insights. We were there at spring break, so there were entirely too many 8th grade trips making their trip to Mecca. I really didn't have an issue with these groups until Wendy and I went to the Holocaust Museum. This is a quiet and reflective environment. The school groups with ill-behaved children put a damper on the experience, and I really felt like smacking many of these kids. I can understand even 6th grade not understanding the emotional impact of this event; but by the time you are 14, you should have a complete respect for institution you are in, and just because your parents aren't with you, doesn't mean you should have disregard for your surroundings.

The Holocaust museum was overwhelming and upsetting to me. Wendy was able to take it more in stride than I was. I found myself upset and not able to look at many of the exhibits. I remember my sister and brother-in-law making me watch a documentary on Auschwitz and that exhibit just brought it all back.

Mt. Vernon was awesome. It turned out to be very laid back because the line to get in the house was about an hour. We just walked the grounds. A friend was going through some personal trauma during that time, and I was able to take a phone call. It was healing to watch my daughter and her friends run and play on the grounds of Mt. Vernon and just soak in the fresh air and the beautiful atmosphere. Really made me appreciate the relationships that I have with people and to be thankful for the little things.

My very favorite place was the National Portrait Gallery. It's a much smaller museum than all of the other Smithsonian institutions we entered. We were there for two hours, but I could have just spent another half day there. They had a Duchamp exhibit that made me feel like an ass. I have completely bypassed this artist, and am definitely going back for a lesson.

This place was just full of treasures.

I could go on and on, and I am not, because it's late, and I'm tired. But we hit the Smithsonian Air and Space at Dulles. It was by far the most comprehensive museum from A-Z. We saw a Concorde; the Anola Gay; and the Space Shuttle all under one roof. It was awesome having Guido with us to give us the history of both the German and American fighter planes, it was like our personal Docent.

We went to the Museum of American History, the Spy Museum, and the Native American Museum.

Our biggest disappointment was the Library of Congress. I really wanted Mel to be able to see her father's books displayed in the stacks, but the library itself is only open to those 16 or older, so we weren't allowed in, which I think is a sham. But the building is fabulous. We missed the White House, except for driving by; and a few other places; but I feel like we packed a lot into this trip.

But I have to say, in the few times that I was able to walk around by myself, I kept saying to myself, "God, why did you have to take Tim Russert so soon? This is his town."

Kindle Update

2009-03-24T15:19:00.002-03:00

I’ve had the Kindle for a little while now. I’ve joined the revolution in full force. I’m a few steps closer than my last post when I said I wouldn’t try to recruit anyone. But I don’t think I can cross the line of respect of true book lovers. Loving my Kindle does not mean that I have abandoned my love of printed books. There are some things you can never read on a Kindle; art books; anything with great photos, and children’s picture books. But other than that, it’s making my day every day.

Here is a link to a very fair commentary on the Kindle and why it’s good and why it might not be for everyone. SLATE ARTICLE

If the girl asked me today if she could have a Kindle I would have to say no. For some reason, saying yes to an IPOD is no problem; but saying yes to a Kindle is saying yes to giving up the trip to the bookstore and picking out her book and looking at it on a bookshelf. I think that is a decision that is to be made as an adult.

All the same, I love the darn thing, it’s become a friend.

The Time is Here, The Day is Here.....

2009-03-16T02:10:00.005-03:00

As the writer of "A Sunny Thought" while I have written about bleak topics at times, I always try to come across with a positive message. This is how I get through life, it's been my mantra, which I got from my father, my sister, and my siblings who come out on the sunny side.

I don't talk about my divorce very much, because my daughter reads my blog, and I have enough class to not talk about dark dark times. But when I went through my divorce, I will share with you that my therapist at the time actually kind of fired me after a while and told me that she had never had a patient that went through such and even with such a good attitude and between survivial mode and positive thoughts, I came out of it on the plus side. I was not unscathed, as my family and dear friends know, but I think my attitude was pretty good. Part of that was I lost a lot weight, that I had slowly gained back after a crazy 100 pound weight loss after the birth of the girl.

While blessed with incredibly good looks (blush) I have also been been genetically gifted with shit metabolism and a broken thyroid. I'm the last person on earth to blame my weight on my thyroid, but it has played a part in the fact that the only way that I can actually lose weight is to have a daily workout that is not quite hardcore, but almost.

So, when I met Mr. Yen, I was by no means thin, but as I found out on Tuesday, I was eighty pounds thinner. My doctor, who is a friend and a mentor, laid it on the line. He said I can go for the lap-band surgery which is the lesser of stomach stapling, or do it by working out.

I'm not some fat slob that doesn't ever move....but it would be not true if I said if I didn't indulge in too much wine or too much bread.

For some reason, this has hit me really hard. I've had the "woe is me" song going for a few days. I've consulted with my best friends and said that the I need to curtail stat.

I am being compleltely honest about my vanity here. It's really hard for a person who thinks they are "all that" to realize that they are so unattractive and unhealthy. Thank God....THANK GOD, that my survival mode has kicked in and I am doing what I need to do, because I am certainly not going to be going through any kind of surgery to lose weight; and I am not going to be a 50 year old woman driving a cart at Target to get my toilet paper.

You know, it just sucks, because when you are fat, and in my situation, people automatically think you are a huge overeater or don't move. I don't over eat, most of the time anyways. I just pack on pounds if I don't move.

So my message to you people is as I am doing it, move damnit. If it pains you, if it is a pain because you are exhausted at the end of the day, just freakin' move....and then you won't be suffering the same plight as me which is going to take me a year to shed. Water should be your best friend......

By the way, the irony is, my blood pressure, cholesterol, lipids, blood sugar, and fatty things that clog your arteries were all below normal.........the only thing I have to fear is fat itself.......

xoxo

I'm Not Ashamed To Say It....I Bought A Kindle

2009-03-12T16:24:00.002-02:00

If you read my FB page, you already know that I bought the Kindle a little while back. I haven't wanted to blog about it until I was over the puppy love. I was a little mortified by the price and extravagence of such a device in these economic times.

I can easily justify the expense, first, I had a nice chunky gift card to help me out; but mostly, my house is stuffed to the gills with books. 70% Mr. Yen's, 15% Mel's, and the rest mine, although Adam has a few there as well in his room. There is no room to stack another book in another nook until we donate some. The girl is very good at this, she often goes through her library and keeps what she wants, and donates what she is done with. Mr. Yen usually just crams them into an existing shelf or into the basement.

It's great to love your books, I'm all for it. But I am type A enough that I will read it online before I cram more into my house, and that's kind of sad. I love my Kindle because now I can put every book I've ever wanted on there without it taking up more that 1/2 and inch depth in my purse.

This thing is amazing. It's easy to ready, I really feel like I am looking at the page of a book. The page turning is fast enough, and it's easy on my eyes. One of the features in the design that was supposed to happen is that they want the reader to have the experience that the "machine will disappear" and you will just be left with the book. I wouldn't go that far, but I definitely don't feel like I am reading it on my phone or computer screen. The device becomes second nature and I don't think about it unless I want to look something up.

I'm completely torn on the going green idea here with books. I really feel it's up to the individual. As someone who loves the smell, and the weight, and the crispness of a real book, I can completely understand why an electronic reader might be a turnoff. No matter what, even if the ink is almost an exact replica, you can't have that same experience as you would with a real book. But for me, the idea of saving a bunch of trees; the portability; and the access to my entire library like my Itunes is just a much better trade-off. Plus the price of books is so much less expensive, It will eventually pay for itself.

The only thing I know is, I've already tripled the amount of books I've read from last year and I've only had the thing for a month. For me, it's totally worth it.

Application Safety Tips for Online Jobs | GlobalPost

2009-03-08T14:56:00.001-02:00

Application Safety Tips for Online Jobs | GlobalPost

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Certain People Do Certain Things

2009-03-01T13:25:00.010-02:00

Newspapers are falling by the wayside. It shouldn't be that way; people should care more. And that is fodder for another post completely. That said, working for newspapers for much of my professional life; you learn certain things that are unique to the industry. Things that are kind of heartwarming and when not present, everyone freaks out.

When I worked at my first newspaper job, at the Sun-Newspapers in Minnesota (the little community newspapers) I worked in the classified department. This was before computers were so advanced that you could just cut and paste. We had computers with pagination abilities, but not anything where you could take a .pdf and lay it out. As a result, all of the ad copy had to be manually typed into the system. For something like a garage sale or help wanted ad, that was no problem. However, there was one nasty nasty job that nobody wanted: the dreaded legal notice.

You know what legal notices are; they are the long ads in the back of the paper that you never read. They usually are notification of a new business name or a notice of foreclosure or auction. They usually take up an entire column of text and are tedious with lots of legalese. At the Sun, there was one older woman whose name escapes me now. She would take every legal notice that came in for all of our papers (I think there was eight) and would manually type these tedious documents and proof them for errors three times each. When she went on vacation, all help broke lose because nobody had the skill or desire to work on these tricky documents. I often thought that when she retired or dropped dead, the legal notices would stop publishing all together. Lucky for us, technology has come a long way and it is possible to just pop the .pdf into the system and wah-la, instant legal notice. My point is, at a newspaper, certain people do certain things, and when they take a day off or go on vacation, that's when mistakes happen.

When I worked at the Village Voice in New York, I worked in the Customer Service department. My entire job consisted of taking complaint calls regarding the classified section. The Village Voice is the grandaddy of all personal sections. They were the first paper to take Men seeking Men and Men seeking Women ads; as well as Other. While I took the occasional phone call from the irate South Hampton property owner who didn't like where his ad fell in the rental section; most of my calls were either complaint calls from women wanting to report the creepy men with fetishes running ads. The best part of my job was making phone calls to mostly Wall Street types to inform them why I could not place their advertisements. Here is a typical phone call:

Me: Hello, may I speak with Robert Robert Roberts, III.

Admin Assistant: May I ask who is calling?

Me: This is Kim calling from the Village Voice.

Admin Assistant: One moment. (At this point, when the call is announced, Robert Robert Roberts III automatically takes the call because he doesn't want anyone to know of his inproprieties).

R.R.R. III: Yes, this is Rob Roberts, how can I assist you.

Me: Mr. Roberts, this is Kim calling from the Village Voice. I am calling to let you know that we cannot run your ad due to the language in the ad, it does not me our standards.

R.R.R. III: What is the issue?

Me: You can't say "Piss on Me"

R.R.R. III: What are my options?

Me: Well, "Golden Showers" is acceptable.

R.R.R. III: Let's go with that then.

Me: Thank you, Mr. Roberts.

My other favorite was when I would talk to the phone sex ladies. I would have to say, "I'm sorry Dottie, you can't say Red Hot Blow Jobs." and then Dottie would be pissed. "What can I say?" I would have to think of something quick or refer to my manual of accepted terms. "How about Red Hot Phone Jobs?" Dottie would accept.

The point is, I was the designated person to deal with the creepy toe-sucking scum; and sweet stay at home mom's trying to make an extra buck by running a 1-900 number.

Everyone in a newspaper has a certain job. Without that person, the paper loses a little bit of its integrity. Elimination of certain positions is inevitable in this economy. But what happens to the person who orders the exacto knives or cuts out the tearsheets to go to what remaining advertisers we have?

That's the problem. I encourage anyone reading this, that if you don't have a subscription to your daily or newspaper, subscribe, whether you read it or not. Otherwise, it's just going to be a memory.

Sometimes A Husband Does A Wife Right....

2009-02-20T04:50:00.003-02:00

Okay, so I am bleeding my heart here a little bit.

Mr. Yen and I since Christmas break have been two ships passing in a night (Barry Manilow anyone?).

I work a day job. It is intense, I am scurrying with 5 to 10 windows open at any given time. He is in school pursuing his nursing degree and working full time as a waiter at night. Times have been tough, so he is picking up extra shifts. By the time he gets home I am usually asleep. He picks up the girl most days and because of that, I bite my tongue because I know we are both pushing our limits and doing our very best.

But, me being me, sometimes I get a bit annoyed. I think, "Okay, I got remarried for what....to have a roomate?" That was last night. He wandered in and I laid into him about not coming straight home after work. We didn't talk last night or all day today.

Tonight, he came home. I was folding laundry at 11pm, he gave me a kiss and told me he loved me because, "You are Kim Kotars" and that is who he loves. Then he pulled out this totally cool box from a little mom and pop shop that was struggling in our neighborhood and it had a simple but very Kim kind of pin inside the box. It was recyclable cut glass with this metal edging in the middle that is pink and turquoise. It is totally 80's and totally me.

I love you Mr. Yen. Thank you for realizing things before I even say it.

Separated At Birth

2009-02-19T02:08:00.004-02:00

Attorney General Holder and Stedman!

It's Official...We Are All Going To Be Poor Forever.

2009-02-19T00:15:00.002-02:00

Here's a little tidbit I picked up on the news today. If you're prone to depression, don't read it.

"Worst Is Yet to Come:" Americans' Standard of Living Permanently Changed

Posted Feb 17, 2009 12:53pm EST by Aaron Task in Investing, Recession

There's no question the American consumer is hurting in the face of a burst housing bubble, financial market meltdown and rising unemployment.
But "the worst is yet to come," according to Howard Davidowitz, chairman of Davidowitz & Associates, who believes American's standard of living is undergoing a "permanent change" - and not for the better as a result of:

An $8 trillion negative wealth effect from declining home values.
A $10 trillion negative wealth effect from weakened capital markets.
A $14 trillion consumer debt load amid "exploding unemployment", leading to "exploding bankruptcies."
"The average American used to be able to borrow to buy a home, send their kids to a good school [and] buy a car," Davidowitz says. "A lot of that is gone."

Going forward, the veteran retail industry consultant foresees higher savings rate and people trading down in both the goods and services they buy - as well as their aspirations.

The end of rampant consumerism is ultimately a good thing, he says, but the unraveling of an economy built on debt-fueled spending will be painful for years to come.

Valentine's is not just for lovers anymore.

2009-02-16T01:27:00.004-02:00

You know what? It's nice to get a card; taken out to dinner; have some of that romance that falls by the wayside in our busy lives....I got a card and some chocolate from Mr. Yen; but that's not what this weekend was about for me or it seems many of the people that are important in my life.

My friend Rachel in New York City ran a 5K. My brother in Syracuse spent the weekend with his wife and all his fireman buddies at the Fireman's Olympics. Check out the pictures below.

Friday night we had our sixth installment of the annual Valentine's Party. This started out in kindergarten when we had her friends over to make valentine's and have cupcakes. It grew into an annual tradition; tea at the Four Seasons; bowling at The Lucky Strike; other years at my house; this year Wendy was kind enough to host it. We had a raclette dinner party for the parents and the girls had fondue. I was worse for the ware on Saturday, but we had a great time.

Just being able to enjoy friends and family and the smaller fun things made this weekend great. I hope yours was as good as mine.

On Being Fat and Getting a Massage

2009-02-10T01:22:00.005-02:00

I had a ninety minute rubdown tonight by a guy who looked like a mini-Jesus.

When one is a female, and on the grander side; erotic thoughts during a massage do not cross one's mind. Please do not take this as a poor-me rant....I know I have a certain sensual sustainability....despite the poundage. This is about feeling comfortable in your own skin in front of a complete stranger, whom you may never meet again.

When I entered the darkly lit room with just a scarce hint of light, I was wrapped tightly in my nice borrowed robe which fit my ample hips.

When you, male or female, thin, medium, or fat, pay for a massage, it is important to relish every moment as you are paying about a $1.75 per minute. I've had massages before....one a long time ago from a male; and the rest female. I was much smaller then, and I found myself a little anxious in the presence of a stranger with my largesse.

He was cool as could be. He talked in a low quiet voice as if we were in the bowels of a library somewhere on a campus. I said, "Do you talk like this when you are out of work or do you have a tendency to talk really loud (at which I raised my voice to be funny).

He laughed, in a strange way I think that might have put him at ease. While certainly a professional with Lincoln Park Moms and Yuppies coming in on a regular basis I asked him when I first laid down, "Do you have a repeat customer that you can't stand." He started laughing and said "Yes, every other Wednesday afternoon. I wish another therapist would take her."

I asked him a flurry of questions. Mostly because I was a little nervous. Much like when you are with someone for the first time and don't know if you should kiss them or shake their hands.

I couldn't help but start relaxing as we started our journey down my muscles. Somehow, underneath all of that fat, he was able to find a contour of muscle. It gave me hope.

For any of you dear readers who have never had a full body massage, it is always very respectful. Never exposing anything or touching anything that is not necessary or past the level of comfort. But when he started down my lower back and hit the outside of my hips, that is when I could feel my entire body lock into position as if I was about to catapulted out of a cannon. My hips did not graze the edge of the table, but they might as well have. I was thinking to myself the entire time, "How can he fine any hip bone underneath my two side-bars?"

But he did. And believe it or not, I was able to totally relax and forget for a moment the two Samsonite suitcases that are my hips....and believe me, that is not an easy thing to do.

Check out her blog

2009-02-06T16:20:00.002-02:00

Her blog is titled Poor Girl Eats Well, and it's just her, but I think every I know could benefit from her website. Delicious food at a cheap price. Check it out here.

I Guess No One Cares About Writing Letters Anymore.

2009-01-29T02:15:00.003-02:00

What? Could this possibly be true? I work in the recruitment/Human Resources Industry I have been reading about corporations laying thousands and thousands of people every day for the last several months...even more that what you hear about in the news. It is upsetting, but I'll tell you what upsets more than that....this possibility I just read in the papers:

Postmaster General says massive deficits may force post office to cut one day of mail delivery

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID | Associated Press Writer
8:22 PM CST, January 28, 2009

WASHINGTON (AP) — Massive deficits could force the post office to cut out one day of mail delivery, the postmaster general told Congress on Wednesday, in asking lawmakers to lift the requirement that the agency deliver mail six days a week. If the change happens, that doesn't necessarily mean an end to Saturday mail delivery. Previous post office studies have looked at the possibility of skipping some other day when mail flow is light, such as Tuesday.

Faced with dwindling mail volume and rising costs, the post office was $2.8 billion in the red last year. "If current trends continue, we could experience a net loss of $6 billion or more this fiscal year," Postmaster General John E. Potter said in testimony for a Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs subcommittee.

Total mail volume was 202 billion items last year, over 9 billion less than the year before, the largest single volume drop in history.

And, despite annual rate increases, Potter said 2009 could be the first year since 1946 that the actual amount of money collected by the post office declines.

"It is possible that the cost of six-day delivery may simply prove to be unaffordable," Potter said. "I reluctantly request that Congress remove the annual appropriation bill rider, first added in 1983, that requires the Postal Service to deliver mail six days each week."

"The ability to suspend delivery on the lightest delivery days, for example, could save dollars in both our delivery and our processing and distribution networks. I do not make this request lightly, but I am forced to consider every option given the severity of our challenge," Potter said.

That doesn't mean it would happen right away, he noted, adding that the agency is working to cut costs and any final decision on changing delivery would have to be made by the postal governing board.

If it did become necessary to go to five-day delivery, Potter said, "we would do this by suspending delivery on the lightest volume days."

The Postal Service raised the issue of cutting back on days of service last fall in a study it issued. At that time the agency said the six-day rule should be eliminated, giving the post office, "the flexibility to meet future needs for delivery frequency.

A study done by George Mason University last year for the independent Postal Regulatory Commission estimated that going from six-day to five-day delivery would save the post office more than $1.9 billion annually, while a Postal Service study estimated the saving at $3.5 billion.

The next postal rate increase is scheduled for May, with the amount to be announced next month. Under current rules that would be limited to the amount of the increase in last year's consumer price index, 3.8 percent. That would round to a 2-cent increase in the current 42-cent first class rate.

The agency could request a larger increase because of the special circumstances, but Potter believes that would be counterproductive by causing mail volume to fall even more.

Dan G. Blair, chairman of the Postal Regulatory Commission, noted in his testimony that cutting service could also carry the risk of loss of mail volume. He suggested Congress review both delivery and restrictions it imposed on the closing of small and rural post offices.

The post office's problem is twofold, Potter explained.

"A revolution in the way people communicate has structurally changed the way America uses the mail," with a shift from first-class letters to the Internet for personal communications, billings, payments, statements and business correspondence.

To some extent that was made up for my growth in standard mail — largely advertising — but the economic meltdown has resulted in a drop there also.

Potter also asked that Congress ease the requirement that it make advance payments into a fund to cover future health benefits for retirees. Last year the post office was required to put $5.6 billion into the fund.

"We are in uncharted waters," Potter said. "But we do know that mail volume and revenue — and with them the health of the mail system — are dependent on the length and depth of the current economic recession."

He proposed easing the retirement pre-funding for eight years, while promising that the agency will cover the premiums for retirement health insurance.

At the same hearing the General Accounting Office agreed that the post office is facing an urgent need for help to preserve its financial strength. But the GAO suggested easing the pre-funding requirement for only two years, with Congress to determine the need for more relief later.

Potter noted that the agency has cut costs by $1 billion per year since 2002, reduced its work force by 120,000, halted construction of new facilities except in emergencies, frozen executive salaries and is in the process of reducing its headquarters work force by 15 percent.

A Poem By The Girl.

2009-01-28T13:06:00.003-02:00

The Girl wrote a poem for school surrounding the book The Giver. In the book, the people can only see red; so the assignment was to write a poem describing a color that the characters in the book would be able to imagine. I love this.

That Was Blue

It was light and graceful, like a summer day.
Playful, and beautiful, like a child at play.
It was sad, and it was sweet, like a melody.
It was the color you would stare at while in a hammock, ahh serenity.
It was natural, and pretty like a flower fresh and new.
That was blue.

It was like the cool feeling of glass touching you’re face.
Or the calm, serene feeling of relaxation when you were staring into space.
It was the clear, cool liquid in you’re throat.
It was the water, underneath you’re boat.
It was the salty, hurtful part of true.
That was blue.

It was what made you’re cheeks warm, and red with fear.
What gave you the salty, wet, warm tears.
It was the hushed whistle of the wind.
Or the cheerfulness after a child had grinned.
Its what sat on top of the grass, as mornings wet dew.
That was blue.

It was the color of the sky, but not its diamonds.
It was the color of the world, but not its demons.
It was the color of depression, and sad.
It was the color of beauty, pureness, and glad.
It was the swish you would hear as the ocean flew.
That was blue.

Rooms

2009-01-27T01:48:00.002-02:00

A week ago, I was at my friend Jodi's house. She is just about to have her baby. She was showing me the nursery. It was so sweet to see it, pretty much ready to go, just a couple more things to hang on the wall...all it was missing was the little pumpkin that is going to be there any minute. Of course, it made me think of the girl and her first room; decorated like Winnie The Pooh; all ready to go. I used to go in her room before she was born and just look at it; and move things around. Just waiting for her to get here.

Well, she's been around a while. Twelve years. When we moved in with Mr. Yen, we were all nervous, but we had a feeling it would work out. The last two apartments I had been in were just the girl and I. While I tried my hardest to make those rooms lovely for her; there was just something cold about them. She said she was okay with them, but I know she never quite felt as she said, "safe". When we moved in here, she had a brand new hot pink bedroom. The room can't be bigger than 12 x 12, with no closet. Space is an issue, but she loves it in there.

Tonight, we reached a new milestone. We bought her a big wall unit book case with a desk that jedis out. The wall unit has a ton of cubbies, she can put all of her books in there. She has her stereo setup on top and we gave her the Mac-mini that we don't use....so there she has her own computer in her room, with her tunes, and her hot pink desk chair. I could tell she was really happy. Brian surprised her by putting the whole damn thing together today. She is thrilled.

And I had to let go. It is my natural behavior to start to put all of the things back and arrange her shelves perfectly. But I didn't do a think except fix the cords. She spent the rest of the evening putting things away and sitting at her desk with her computer. She even put a coaster down. It was really charming to see her enjoying her new pad. And I know she liked it, because tonight she actually closed the door all the way....

Thoughts from the E.R.

2009-01-15T13:49:00.004-02:00

Monday night, as I sat in the emergency room with Mr. Yen, wondering if he was going to live or die, a lot of things crossed my mind. Things that I am ashamed of thinking. The small amount of Catholic in me, must be coming out, because I will confess here.

Mr. Yen was diagnosed with asthma. But one of the tests he took came back with high levels of something or other, so to be safe, the doctor wanted him to go to the E.R. to make sure he didn't have a blood clot in his lung. This was scary.

He was not in any pain, just the coughing from the asthma, which he was treated for and was on his way to recovery...but as he lay on the hospital bed and I sat in the chair I started thinking the following:

"Okay, if he dies, who is going to shovel out my car?"
"Will the life insurance cover his funeral...and then will I have some fun-money left over?"
"Why do they paint these rooms such an ugly drab color?"
"Can't that guy outside just shut up...okay, your in pain, I know already"
"Do they really need this bright light in here, couldn't they go with something a little more subdued?"

That's what I was thinking. I know...I am going to hell.

By the way, there was no blood clot.

Icing on the Cake.

2009-01-09T16:29:00.002-02:00

Even more excited that President Obama won the election, is the news that Al Franken has won the senate seat in Minnesota. Ever since Paul Wellstone's death and Norm Coleman winning the election. Things have not sat right with me. I think that Franken is going to carry on the legacy of Wellstone to the best of his ability and Minnesotans are going to be the better for it. We are replacing on quirky little Jewish Guy with big brains and funny hair with a quirky little Jewish guy with big brains and funny glasses.

Here is a cool article written by Tom Davis, Al Franken's former writing partner on SNL and boyhood friend which appears right now on the DailyBeast.com. They remind me of Cheech and Chong....but Minni-style.

The soon-to-be senator’s longtime comedy partner spills on what happened backstage at Saturday Night Live—and why he’s only now breaking his silence.

Al Franken is a senator who will quickly make Minnesotans proud they had the wisdom to choose him, even if by 225 votes. He was my partner in the comedy team of Franken & Davis from 1968 to 1989, when we broke up in dramatic fashion. For a decade we did not really speak except at Saturday Night Live reunions and funerals, but in the last several years, our friendship has rekindled.

Several years ago, I decided to write a memoir. We all know I can write television comedy sketches, but a real writer writes books. Twenty years of Al Franken figured in big in my life—beside family, friends, Saturday Night Live, and Grateful Dead. He was in all of them. There is nothing about Al in 39 Years of Short-Term Memory Loss that is not already a matter of public record. However, retelling old stories about Al could have been useful to his detractors. It may have been the smartest thing I’ve ever done to wait a year for Al to win before publishing. Otherwise I’d be on tour with Reverend Wright. Couldn’t you just see the two of us in an airport bar on our way to Rush Limbaugh or Bob Jones University? The conservative talk shows would be hailing me as the man who held Al Franken back for 20 years.

But now that he’s finally won back Paul Wellstone’s seat, I feel that I can finally express my own political opinions without embarrassing Al. I am very much to the left of Al Franken. For example, I believe there should be hands-on sex education in our high schools as well as Responsible Drinking classes, and safe, legal abortions should be provided by the state up until the age of six. I say, if it’s not working out, a responsible parent should be able to say to their child, “All right—I told you to pick up your room—get in the car!”

However, in my memoir there is nothing about my political opinions, but much about my hippie lifestyle, which should be controversial and open myself up to the judgment of readers. Some will find me likable and others will find me wanting, thus leading them to question Al’s judgment to tolerate my behavior through the heady ’70s, and the even headier ’80s. I am grateful that in his foreword to my book, Al says, “My prototypical memory [of SNL] is of me and Tom rolling on the floor from something one of us or Danny [Aykroyd] or Jim Downey said or any number of the hilarious people we worked with.”

So here is some collected Franken Lore that will not be public knowledge until March:

Al and I met in 1967. He was in the class above me in an exclusive, all-male, prep school in suburban Minneapolis. He was one of those faces I passed in the hallways each day, but what a face—buckteeth, Coke-bottle glasses, and that mouth. On demand, he would demonstrate by slowly and dramatically opening his maw to its fullest extent, then inserting his pudgy fist completely inside. He had a cherubic build, but, incredibly, his body was literally denser than anyone’s I’ve ever seen. He could lie on the bottom of the deep end of the pool, his head supported by one bent elbow. He could sink like a stone.

He was one of those Jewish guys who dominated scholastics—perfect SATs and such. Franken was equally competitive on the athletic field. He was a good wrestler, and, as a soccer player, his lack of finesse got him the position of “enforcer.” And when he broke his wrist, the plaster cast made him even more effective, earning him the title of “The Claw.”

Supposedly, when Al’s mother, Phoebe, gave birth to him, he came out jaundiced, pointy-headed, and cross-eyed. The doctor said, “Now that’s a baby!”

When Al was a precocious four-year-old, there was a city worker digging a ditch in front of the house who became annoyed as young Franken counted aloud the successive number of each shovelful.

At 13, he earned money as a caddy at a country club golf course. One golfer was playing poorly and became cranky with his caddy.

Golfer: “You must be the worst caddy in the world.”
Al: “That would be too big a coincidence.”

As a 14-year-old, he was going out on his first date, and his father, Joe, realized he had never explained the birds and the bees to his younger son. Beginning with a gentle inquiry, Joe discovered that Al didn’t appear to have a grasp of the facts. After carefully explaining the differences between the sexes, Al was confused and upset. “You mean women don’t have penises?” Joe tried a different approach, but his son became even more upset. Joe began to start all over again before Al told him he was joking.

Tom Davis is a four-time Emmy winner for his writing for Saturday Night Live. He wrote for the show for fourteen years, including the first five seasons with the original cast. He and Al Franken were comedy partners in the team Franken & Davis for more than twenty years. His memoir, 39 Years of Short-Term Memory Loss will be published by Grove Atlantic in March.

---Tom Davis

Here's What I'm Doing...What Are You Doing?

2009-01-08T19:42:00.003-02:00

I am very fortunate...at the moment, I have a job. But I see the writing on the wall that things could change at any moment. While the steps that I (and Mr. Yen) are taking are small, they all add up in the end. Here is what I'm doing this year to cutback, what are you doing?

Canceled HBO and all movie channels (I have two kids, I can't cancel the cable for cry-ay!).
Playing with those Christmas gifts all year long and not letting dust collect. The Wii is awesome fun for everyone. We are going to use that thing until the controls fall apart.
I drink the free coffee at work.
Having friends over and going to their houses.
Going to a matinee.
Using my laptop and reading.
Going to the health club instead of going out to eat. One dinner pays for a month practically.
I don't pay for parking at work anymore so that has eliminated a lot from my budget.
I bring my breakfast to work and try to bring my lunch.
Mr. Yen traded to truck for a smaller car.
The girl is going to use the craft supplies she has before we buy new ones (sorry girl).
Drink water.

Christmas 2008

2009-01-07T03:28:00.000-02:00

Make a Smilebox photobook

Inevitable.

2009-01-06T14:00:00.002-02:00

The girl asked me what inevitable means. I said, "It means that something is meant to or is going to happen eventually." I thought about this on my drive home from Minneapolis. I was thinking about my father, who at 81 came down the stairs and scraped all the ice off my car before we took off. As we pulled out of the driveway, my daughter is usually the one to shed some tears. I was looking at my father, a little smaller, in his blue baseball jacket holding the snow brush and found myself welling up with tears. It is inevitable, but I'm going to grab every moment I can as long as I can.

Let's Talk Hair Removal

2008-12-30T03:31:00.002-02:00

Being a girl's girl and a mom, I don't talk about things that I think about often. I don't talk about sex; I don't talk about periods; sagging breasts; fantasies; I don't talk about the pain and problems of being way too fat. But today, I am breaking my own rule and talking honestly about something Men don't want to know about and women don't want to deal with: Hair Removal.

As the parent of a pre-teen, we are just discussing hair removal. The thought of shaving at age twelve bothers me. Many of her friends are doing it. As a 41 year old chica, living in this damp cold climate, the thought of leg hair grosses me out. I am constantly moisturizing, shaving my legs, and trying to keep myself as smooth as possible.

So, one night, I was watching Top Chef and I saw a mini-infomercial for "Smooth Away" the miracle hair removal system that requires no shaving; no waxing; no painful tape that you rip off. Just a simple little pumice kind of stone that you rub in a circular motion to remove the hair. Simply rub around; moisturize and then you are done.

I checked out all the reviews online; women have been swearing by this little miracle. Since it was a "As seen on tv" thing; of course it was a double offer. So I ordered it.

Imagine my anticipation building when I was waiting for my Smooth Away and I got an email saying that by popular demand they were back-ordered.

When my little package finally arrived, I eagerly followed the directions and "smoothed away" my legs. I followed up with a moisturizer and called it a night.

They felt smooth as a baby's butt...until about 4pm the next day. My legs started to itch like I was wearing a pair of bad polyester bands. When I felt my legs, not only were they hot; but they made me feel like the time I was in Door County with my friend Robin and our water shut off in our cabin. We had to clean up in Lake Michigan with really shitty disposable razors. Smooth Away does not work folks. You would be better off with a dull bread knife.

2008 The Musical

2008-12-26T16:51:00.001-02:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-22T01:25:00.002-02:00

The girl and I made Gingerbread Christmas cookies. Her decorating has a surrealist slant, I would have to say.

For Anyone Who Wants to Know What it's like to work in an Ad Agency

2008-12-20T14:15:00.002-02:00

Happy Holidays. This is so true!

So Shines A Good Deed....

2008-12-16T14:35:00.002-02:00

Thanks to a nice arctic blast, getting just to my car this morning required baby steps. The sidewalk was glistening with a nice sheet of ice just waiting to break my hip. I made it unscathed to my car and saw an old dibber/dobber walking at a snail's pace. It was really cold this morning. I said good morning and told him to be careful. He had a walker with him that was folded up and he said, "I'm doing what I like to call the Senior Shuffle." I asked where he was going and he said to the hospital which was the opposite direction of my work.

Well, you know what happens next, I got 1/4 way down the block in my busy life and stopped and asked if I could drive him to the hospital. He would have had to have taken two buses to get there and I was worried about him crossing our very busy four lane street.

I am writing about this not to talk about my good little deed, but instead to talk about what I received this morning. Because I took out 30 minutes to help this man, he helped me. He told me about how he and his wife Delores have been married 51 years. She caught pneumonia and it lead to respiratory failure and now she is on a respirator. They don't know if she is going to make it or not. Bill told me about his three daughters, and how one has diabetes and lost her leg last year, but she's doing well now. He told me about his nine grandchildren and four great grand-children. Bill told me about how he dressed up like Santa for the little ones and how a couple of them didn't like it, but the one little boy was fascinated with him and kept asking, "What did ya get me Santa, What did ya get me."

When I dropped Bill off, he thanked me for very much. As I drove away and headed off to work, I wasn't thinking about the fact that Bill might lose his wife. I was thinking about what a very rich life he and Dolores have had and how I hope that I can be that lucky.

While I am at it.....

2008-12-16T03:33:00.002-02:00

If I wasn't with Brian, or Kevin Spacey, it would be Tom Cruise. I know, I know...but I think he is just fucking great. Here is my very favorite role in Magnolia:

My Favorite Actress of My Lifetime

2008-12-16T03:28:00.002-02:00

Hi all. It's been such a busy life, such a tough time...just to have time. Do you know what I mean? There are so many movies offered to us over Christmas...and it got me to thinking when I saw this austere photo of Meryl Streep, how incredibly fantastic she is. Look at her in the two movies that came out this year...Mama Mia and then Doubt. She's my favorite actress of my lifetime...hands down.

Random Thought Thursday

2008-12-11T17:01:00.001-02:00

I was just thinking, isn't it interesting that with the invention of Facebook, people who I would have avoided or not spoken with at Class Reunions, or running into at the mall, are suddenly my friends. We share witty "quips" which otherwise would never have happened.

My other thought is, how can someone have 800 friends of Facebook? I don't understand that....

Discuss.

Not much to say, except:

2008-12-10T04:00:00.000-02:00

It's Hard to Ho Ho Ho When Everything is No No No.

2008-12-09T22:45:00.002-02:00

Are y'all feeling it? I've been feeling a true holiday spirit since before Thanksgiving...and then today, it just crashed and burned. For the last few weeks I've been thinking secretly, "Maybe something is wrong with me" because watching the news and reading everything online about the state of our nation has been so taxing.

In Chicago, the news about the Tribune is so upsetting. They will reorganize and the place will be saved, but it's unbelievable. And then today, reading the many counts against our Governor was simply astonishing.

Personally, I've got family members who are sick, and a few out of work. I could see why I thought there was something wrong with me.

But then, like a light bulb going on in the darkest room; it occurred to me. It's not me...it's all of us. I'm not going to let this time pull me down, and you shouldn't either. Looking at what truly matters, the little things, is what helps the big things go away a bit. My daughter is doing very well in school, she's got a nice group of friends, and a great outlook. My step-son has entered high school with out any weird attitude changes and he's in the marching band. My folks are still kickin' it; and I'm surrounded by people I love.

It's so simple but so easy to forget sometimes. But remembering the little things, cures a lot for what ails you.

My Favorite Photos 2008

2008-12-08T06:01:00.000-02:00

This is a bit long, but it is my year in review.

Make a Smilebox slideshow

It's About Time....Lot's of It.

2008-12-05T18:03:00.002-02:00

Odd Thing Thursday

2008-12-04T19:32:00.002-02:00

I dated a man for about a month. One of the biggest things that bothered me about him was that he signed all of his emails, "Cheers". He wasn't English, but I always felt like I needed to be raising a Guiness whenever I read his emails.

So, I broke up with him.

What a Surprise!

2008-12-01T16:43:00.002-02:00

Imagine this! I just read it on CNN:

It's official: The economy is in a recession
The National Bureau of Economic Research said today the U.S. has been in a recession since December 2007, CNNMoney reports, making official what most Americans already believe about the economy. The NBER is a private group of leading economists charged with dating the start and end of economic downturns.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-01T03:35:00.001-02:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Some Guys You Would Be Lucky to Know...

2008-11-29T05:46:00.006-02:00

Dear Readers,

Call it what you will, a case of bias towards family and friends. But in this huge world, of role models far and wide in my 41 years. This is my list of the men I most admire. I thought about it a long long time, my choosing of these people was based on knowing how far they were when I first met them, to where they are now. This is in no particular order.

The first person is my father, George Edward Kotars, Sr. Raised in Chicago during the depression, he was the only child out of seven siblings to leave the state of Illinois and though he came back briefly, he has spent most of his life away from his close family. He raised his own family driving diaper trucks, delivering milk, a coast guard meteoroligist, and an insurance man. He has lived in Chicago, New York (several times), Pittsburgh, South Carolina, and Minnesta. He has been married to my mother Elaine for 60 years. For me, though I said I was not going to place, of course my father is the greatest hero of my life that is, and will ever be. He drove me to school when I was getting beaten up on the bus in 6th grade; he bailed me out financially a million times, as he did with most of his kids, except for a couple of my siblings who never needed it; he truly carried me through the heartbreak of divorce and made me be strong for my daughter, and he is as spry as he was 20 years ago, when now he is a year into being an Octogenerean. I love you dad, you are my hero.

Not running far behind, truly in no particular order:

I have written about my brother Gordon Edward Kotars before, it is difficult to wrap this great man up on one paragraph. But as far as public service, he blows anyone I know out of the water. I am so proud to be Gordon's sister, it brings tears to my eyes often. My brother has been involved in the Fire Department within the city of Syracuse, New York for as long as I can remember. He has served as a volunteer firefighter for much of his life; he was the Chairman or head guy or whatever they called him for much of his career, and then has been spending his professional career helping victims of fire, flood, and disaster situations to clean up their homes and places of business to get them back on their feet. Gordon is a leader in his Church, and has taken his leadership qualities to help the Congolese people who have had to escape their native countries to make a life for their families in our country. I am leaving much out.

As a brother, I know he has often felt displaced from being so far away, but he has no idea what his decision as an adult and as a father of two wonderful adult kids and taking care of my sister-in-law has been as an influence to me. When I look at my brother Gordon, I see my father, and a desire to make him proud of me is always there. I love you Gordon, from the times you drove me in your really big car and sat my little body on the counter at Cosmos and let me watch you flip pizzas, to watching you as a young father; to having real heart to heart talks with you albeit on the phone or in the precious rare times we are together. I love you more more than words could ever say.

One of the best friends I have ever had in my entire life is Phil Velasquez. Phil is the husband to one of my best friend's Robin. To say what Phil means to me in a short dose would be impossible, especially considering he would be the first one to tell you I am long winded. On a personal level, this man has put me in that place that most of the men on this list wish they could have succeeded in doing but never did. I can go six months without seeing him and it's like he adjusts my mental spine faster than a shady chiropractor. He just knows me. He has kept me honest about myself, and treated me and my daughter with compassion when at a few times in my life, he was really the closest and only person I had to turn to.

On a professional level, this is one of the best journalistic photographers you will ever meet. While is cache has been sports...he was there when Jordan did it all, EVERY time; he's been the Cub's staple photographer for years; but his humility lies in the love of the game, any game...and that is why he will often choose a high school playoff over a Chicago Bears game. In between sports, Phil has made an impressive and large scope of news photography. He was at the Brown Chicken Murders, he was outside in the middle of February when they pulled Gacy's victims out of his basement; and most recently, he was hanging with President-Elect Obama on Election eve. Phil takes care of his job; he takes care of the guy that cuts him a great slice of meat at the grocery store; and mostly, he takes care of Robin which is why I love him so much.

On to my brother George Edward Kotars, Jr. If anyone could have had a better big brother growing up and to the present, I challenge thee. The biggest heart amoung hearts, my closest male comrade in life, it is my brother George. I don't have to say much for him to understand what he means to me. If any of my six siblings were the most alike....he is like me and I am like him. We cry at the same things, we like the same songs; we share the same values (mostly). It helps that he is married to the nicest person I know .

My brother George always fit me in no matter how old. Even if he dissed me at times, he always came back and made time for me. I don't think anyone in my life has ever made me laugh more that George. I see him for his brillance, I can see beyond his insecurities, and I know what the great man he is.

I guess I would be remiss if I didn't mention Brian, my husband. He's okay.

Kidding folks. I've written accolades about my husband plenty of times. I'm not going to speak here about how he has saved my life; and made my daughter's life 100% richer, because anyone who reads this, knows that. I would like to just talk about Brian as a man.

You know, we do not have the easiest of relationships. He is the independent, free-spirited brilliant mind I have ever known. I've learned in life, you don't have to know the bestest; most awarded; most publicized person to know their greatness. It is often the people that are quietly being geniuses that are suffering the most pain. My hope for my husband, is that by the time he drops dead, he will recognize his genius and embrace it with open arms...instead of faking his intelligence with pompesity. I don't marry idiots...

The emotional trials that Brian has gone through within the right to gain visitation with my step-son; the pain and emotion I have watched him endure with a best-friend who was murdered; a man who made some mistakes and I don't think has fully forgiven himself for...all of these things make Brian my hero. He loves fearlessly, and I love him for that.

I saved the most rewarding for me for last. My brother Mark. The fact that I am blogging emotional issues here will probably wind me up in the dog house with him because he is a man of humility. But you know what, I don't really give a shit.

For much of my life, I had a great plain between Mark and I. We were like oil and water...much of which was due to the age difference between us. To say we had "issues" would be fair.

Readers, you know what? This is something everyone can learn from. This man, Mark George Kotars, my brother, is someone who I just feel is one of the most lovely human beings in my entire world. I won't go into his medical issues, because that is personal. But I can tell you, than in the last two years watching this man, sometimes in physical agony, still having a smile on his face and truly concerned about everyone in his family; and the love that he has for his wife and daughter...I just don't know what to say. This man's physical body is made of tin right now; but his mental agility is made of steel. A brain that I have admired for years, and the humanity to see past the bullshit...I just am in awe of you Mark. You are also my hero.

I guess I'm a lucky girl, huh?

Pardon Me.

2008-11-27T12:45:00.002-02:00

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. For your laughing enjoyment, I pulled this from Vanity Fair. If you don't like puns, don't read it.

Pardon Me
Having received a Thanksgiving Day stay of execution, this well-connected butterball insists there was no fowl play—and he was never, ever a flight risk.
by Teddy Wayne WEB EXCLUSIVE November 26, 2008

Good morning, human females and males of the press, and happy Thanksgiving. I, of course, have much to be thankful for this year after the president gave me an 11th-month pardon—me, a humble 45 lb. turkey from the sleepy little hamlet of Ellsworth, Iowa. I don’t have any prepared remarks, so I’ll just wing it.

I would first like to address the charges of nepotism. While it is true that the president’s first cousin and I were former business partners on a failed pig farm—and remember, folks, ham makes a perfect entrée for dinner this Thursday—rest assured that this connection had absolutely nothing to do with my lame-duck pardon (not that duck meat is lame—quite the contrary). Nor did my status as a Super Ranger, bestowed on me for fund-raising more than $300,000 for the president’s 2004 campaign, mostly in cattle futures, which, by the way, remain a great investment. Or my membership in the Skull and Wishbones secret society. Oops.

And I’ll remind you that I was not born with a silver serving spoon in my mouth. Did you know I’m 30 percent dark meat?

Is it roasting in here, or is it just me? Anyway, the president was convinced of my innocence, which I have always maintained, as have my corn-fed $1,200-per-hour Ivy League lawyers. The outlandish allegations that I “gobbled down” mark-to-market profits and used them to redecorate my nest with luxurious down from yummy geese? That, after a shot or two of bourbon, I was something of a “wild turkey”? That I “beaked” confidential sources to the press? All baseless puns, some of which don’t even make sense. I will repeat my response from my deposition: “I don’t recall. Turkeys have terrible memories. But maybe that’s elephants. Or the opposite. See?”

My imprisonment was appalling, and had the president not intervened, who knows if today I would be in the electric deep fryer instead of fueling a Learjet to rendezvous with Posh and Becks in Aspen. Was it really necessary to coop me up in a maximum-security pen where I could barely strut? To prohibit all visitors—even my dear, suffering hen? I begged for a spur-monitoring device and farmhouse arrest. Look at me! I am not a flight risk!

And you in the media, who bloodthirstily called for my head, and my breast, and my lean, white meat—just that small piece right there … did you ever stop to think of how it might affect my little poults? My lambasting in the press was uncalled for, from ad avem attacks on my “Butterball” wattle (I’m eight years old, O.K.? We can’t all forever look like Young Turks) to cartoons depicting me slathered in cranberry sauce with captions such as “Fowl Play” and “Justice Is Served!” to—quite bizarrely, as I don’t even remember applying—strongly worded op-eds rejecting my inclusion in the European Union. You chewed me up and spat me out, like a gross giblet that makes you wish you’d never eaten the dish containing it in the first place.

I want to move on, much the way forward-thinking Americans are flocking to vegan Tofurkey as a delicious and nutritious Thanksgiving alternative. Therefore, I ask that you respect my brood’s privacy in the coming months while I embrace my new free-range life.

After that, though, I’ll schedule another press conference, because I just sold my life rights to Pixar. Look for Tom the Turkey, directed by Brad Bird (an unappetizing choice, if you ask me) and starring the voice-over talents of Kevin Bacon (mmm, anyone getting hungry?) and Laurence Fishburne (can’t wait till dinnertime on Friday) as his jive-turkey-talkin’ best friend, in theaters everywhere next Thanksgiving!

The rest is gravy.

Me, Myself, and I....with a twist.

2008-11-27T03:01:00.002-02:00

When I was growing up, I remember an disagreement between my parents. I'm not sure what I was discussing, but my mom told me, "Kim, look out for number one, no one else is going to do it for you."

My father heard this and I remember him kind of scolding my mother wondering what kind of a message that was sending me. At that time, I think I was 11 or 12, I remember thinking my mom was not really selfish but showing a lack of compassion for other people.

As I have moved into my adult life, and gone through everything so far, I've changed my mind about what my mother was trying to tell me. She was telling me watch out for myself, for what I want and what I need. I think that you can do that without expressing selfishness towards other people. I think that looking out for yourself is a healthy way to go through life, and it is a survival mechanism when you have to count on yourself when you realize sometimes you can't count on people around you.

Thanks mom, I might not have gotten the message when I was 12, but it's helped me as an adult, and I'm thankful for that.

My Assignment for tomorrow.....

2008-11-26T12:59:00.002-02:00

Chocolate pecan pie and the good old standard, "green bean casserole" little do they know, I am making it with a twist, I'm using pinto beans!

This will be my first pie, but I think I can do it, I've been preparing for my pie moment for a while, so I'm over the angst.

I may do a quickie maytag and pear salad just for kicks.

Mr. Yen is making the sweet potatos.

What are you doing?

Just in case you didn't go to Charm School.

2008-11-26T02:29:00.001-02:00

If you are like me, one of the things that keeps me up the night before Thanksgiving is deciding which napkin fold I am going to use. Here is a lesson in napkin folding instructed by a woman with a funny accent.

How to Fold a Napkin -- powered by ExpertVillage.com

Need a Job?

2008-11-24T17:20:00.003-02:00

While looking at Craig'slist for a job for my niece, I came across this little gem.

Dining Room Attendant 2008-2009
Experience Antarctica via NANA Services

Seeking a unique adventure as well as employment? How would you like to be one of the few people on the planet to have the opportunity to live and work at or near the geographic South Pole?

The majority of our deploying, contract positions are located at McMurdo Station and they generally begin in August or October/early November and run through the following February. 13-month contracts generally begin in August or October and Winter-over contracts generally begin in February and run through August or October. We are looking for PRIMARY & ALTERNATE employees to fill all contract positions. The Primary is first in line for the position and the Alternate is next in line to deploy should Primary person be unable to meet position/deployment requirements.
Requirements

In addition to your skills and experience, you must meet several other requirements that have been established under the guidance of the National Science Foundation. Failure to meet these requirements may result in withdrawal of an employment offer.
• You must be a U.S. citizen or permanent resident.
• You must have a valid passport or the ability to obtain one.
• After receiving an offer of employment, you must pass:
o A pre-employment background check.
o A pre-employment drug screen.
o Stringent physical and dental examinations.

Once hired, you must comply with applicable safety, environment, health, and waste management policies and procedures, and be committed to completing your employment contract in Antarctica.

NOTE: Only authorized personnel are allowed on all U.S. stations and vessels. Your spouse, children, pets, etc. are not allowed to travel to Antarctica at any point during your contract.

Responsibilities:

Responsible for providing customer service and performing duties that support efforts to produce and serve high quality food.

Displays a commitment to providing exceptional customer service, as outlined by the Supervisor, Food Service.

Performs daily tasking in an efficient and thorough manner, as instructed by Dining Room Attendant, Lead.

Stocks/replenishes all ancillary food items and non-food items, as detailed by tasking sheet, during and between meal hours; monitor quantities of items used and adjust stock levels according to usage.

Responsible for preparing and chilling sufficient beverages and frozen dessert mixes to support usage by the community.

Coordinates with Cooks to ensure timely transfer and scraping of dirty pots to pot-washing area.

Able to work in a team unit composed of diverse personalities.

Displays self-motivation in physically challenging and atypical work environment.

Performs other duties as required.

Send your email and resume for this position to anne.wasilik@usap.gov if you like to live on the edge and are interested in this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

NANA Services is an equal opportunity employer and considers qualified applicants for employment without regard to race, color, creed, religion, national origin, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, age, disability, or Vietnam era, or other eligible veteran status, or any other protected factor.

Requirements:
Education: A minimum of a High school education or equivalent.
Experience: A minimum of six months food service wait staff and/or bussing.
Security Clearance Requirement: None
Field of Interest: Facilities
Job Type: Temporary
Work Location: Antarctica

* Location: Antarctica
* Compensation: $377 per week

Certain Joys in Life-Random 10

2008-11-22T03:19:00.002-02:00

There are certain joys in life. Here are mine for today.

1. Taking my bra off at the end of the day.
2. Knowing if I want to spend all day in my pj's tomorrow, I can.
3. Going to the fabric store with my daughter and teaching her how to read a pattern
for the first time.
4. Leaving stuff on my desk and knowing it's okay that I left it there.
5. A damn good pillow.
6. Electricity and running water.
7. Loving all of my family.
8. Knowing Hillary just might be Secretary of State.
9. The cold air outside and the warm air inside.
10. Coffee in the morning, and a glass of wine at night.

Forgive Somebody

2008-11-20T13:13:00.004-02:00

Perhaps it is the spirit of Thanksgiving; the shitty economy; whatever the reason, and whatever you did I want you to know, I forgive you.

***This only applies to things prior to this post; anything after that is null and void and forgiveness will not be granted.***

Arrgh.

2008-11-19T13:13:00.002-02:00

I know it is a serious subject, but does anyone else find it hilarious that we have pirates rousting about? It's amazing. They actually have a brilliant idea, and it seems to be working. I think I might do that. I am going to pick a major seaport....maybe I'll just start with Duluth. I'm going to go up there, rent a dinghy and I going to pirate a grain freighter. I think I can do this. Is anyone with me?

2008-11-17T13:31:00.002-02:00

You know, at this point with the economy, smiling is about all I can do.

No rubber Chicken in Croatia!

2008-11-15T13:03:00.002-02:00

Crisis bites: Croatian Govt bans Christmas parties

Posted Sat Nov 15, 2008 1:18pm AEDT

The Croation Government has banned Christmas and New Year's parties in public sector offices because of the global financial crisis.

State-run firms and organisations have also been told not to buy Christmas presents.

Prime Minister Ivo Sanader says there is no need for panic in the face of the global crisis, but the country has to be serious.

12 Years of Joy...Despite Everything Else.

2008-11-14T04:47:00.004-02:00

The last twelve years have been the most important of my lifetime. I guess every parent would say that from the birth of their child and on, that was what has had the most meaning. For me, it's true. My identity, of myself, came through the nurturing of my kid. Before that, I was selfish and lazy.

Everything that I do and did since the birth of Girl Yen has been because of my kid. I just wanted to make her life a good one. My proudest moments are those when it was just her and I. I made it as good as I could. I remembered the night of her first sleep over with five girls in my little apartment. I recall speaking on the phone with the guy that I had just gone out on a date with a few days before. I was trying to have a "get to know you more" conversation while five eight year olds were running back and forth wanting something.

Four years later, tonight we are having six girls over in our living room, the original group from four years before plus a couple. I am married to that guy I was talking to on her eighth birthday; and I have a step-son to boot.

I have to thank my daughter for much of this. As much as I have nurtured and loved her, Girl Yen saved my life.

Happy Birthday darling girl.

When You Don't Know What To Do

2008-11-09T06:12:00.002-02:00

Do you ever notice, when there is a true crisis in your life, or lives of your family or friends, the sincere and charming but weird things people do to deal with the situation.

When I was going through my divorce, my siblings sent me a giant cookie bouquet. It was totally sweet, but when I look back, kind of bizarre.

When I have family in a crisis, I phone call, and I call alot, doling out advice. If it involves my parents, a favorite thing to do, is contact all of my siblings and try to delegate from 420 miles away. I've been called on it plenty, but can't say I won't do it again, when in that situation.

I think we do these things out of love. But mostly we do our little quirky things out on not knowing what to do.

It is hard being a fixer.

What a Difference Four Years Makes.

2008-11-08T04:18:00.003-02:00

Four years ago today, I met Brian. In many ways, I consider this my real anniversary even more than my wedding anniversary (December 30). I feel this way because when I met Brian everything in my life changed for the better.

It hasn't been all wine and roses...well it has been quite a bit of wine, if you know us, but that is besides the point. We met a week after Bush won. Both of us tired and beleaguered in our own ways. His, because he was working two jobs at 60 hours a week and trying to keep his apartment and take care of his son...and me, because I was recovering from divorce and bad choices that brought me to pretty much financial ruin and I was building myself back up.

When I look back to where we were both at on that day, if we had never met, we both would have made it. He was paying his bills; and he had no free time and was struggling with administrators at his job. I was schlepping my daughter to school, walking to the train, going to work, literally making 100 outbound phone calls per day; coming back on the train, going to pickup up my daughter from daycare, walking home in the dark, and making supper. But, we were alright. It was just the two of us, and it was just the two of them. Both of us were okay...

Fast forward four years. We are so much better together than we were apart. Our kids love each other, and they both love us. We really are like peas and carrots. It's interesting, the economy sucks even more, my husband is in school, and times are tight. But neither one of us are faced with that, "You and me against the world" feeling. And now, four years later, we've got President Obama at our backs. Things are looking good. Happy Anniversary honey.

Studs and Garrison

2008-11-06T02:43:00.002-02:00

I mentioned the other night about Garrison Keillor's salute to Studs. Here it is. It would be good to have a beer and some pretzels while you are singing a long.

So long Studs, it's been good to know ya.

I was just thinkin'.......

2008-11-05T03:19:00.003-02:00

So, Jessie Jackson and Oprah were both crying during Barack's speech. Undoubtedly touched, but I was wondering:

I wonder if Jessie was thinking, "It should have been me dammit."
And if Oprah was thinking, "Why is he with her (Michelle)...it should have been me."

I have to say, what was totally cool was that Oprah got close but she was still in the crowd, and shw as part of the crowd. Tonight was truly something special. It was bigger than Oprah.

And I can tell y'all right now, Michelle is going to kick ass!!!

God Bless America.

My Favorite Election Watcher Quote So Far

2008-11-05T01:45:00.003-02:00

From Vanity Fair's Election Watch coverage online, Mark Maron is at the Hilton in DC at the RNC Party. Here is his quote of what's happening:

22:37—At the RNC party at the DC hilton. Sad angry gathering. Fake acceptance of the inevitable abounds. People are bailing. Going to drink i assume. Someone just walked by saying, "romney and jindal in 2012" i guess the only optimistic angle on that vision was that it wasnt Palin and jindal. They're washing their hands of the Palin already. Sweet.

I love it. So long Sarah!

Leave it to Matt Groening.

2008-11-04T20:22:00.002-02:00

It's the right thing to do....So do it.

2008-11-04T15:38:00.001-02:00

Autumn 2008

2008-11-02T17:11:00.000-02:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

It Was a Good Evening

2008-11-02T00:22:00.003-02:00

We started at our friend GG and CG for cocktails. After battling a crazy day at work I raced home, picked up Mr. Yen and we went over for a pre-triok or treat cocktail and we put on our costumes. Mr. Yen picked up a suit for $8.00, he put on his Donald Trump wig and was all ready. I'll post more photos later. They will tell all. We had great weather and a fantastic time.

Studs died on Halloween, it seems fitting. Tonight on Prairie Home Companion, as only he can do, Keillor paid homage to Studs with a fabulous song which I will post as soon as it's available.

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T11:06:00.005-02:00

One of my favorite days of the year is finally here. I've got a big night of festivities planned with the girl and Mr. Yen and all of our friends. My favorite halloween costume I ever had was when I had a black dress and I very carefully and slowly sewed autumn leaves on all over it and on the sleeves. My hair looked like wind, and it was awesome.

The easiest quickie costume is a basket of dirty laundry. Cut a hole in the laundry basket, pop it around your waist, stuff it with clothes and your done.

It's hard to drive in, though.

2 Million Dollars and No Toilets? No Thanks.

2008-10-29T01:08:00.004-02:00

I already voted for Obama, so that is not the issue. My favorite item coming out of the election right now is the rally that Mayor Daley is planning in Grant Park. The Mayor said today that he hopes we get over a million people in Grant Park on Tuesday night.

The best part was the news anchor made a quick note at the end and said, "Their will be no public or portable toilets available.

I think I'll watch this one on tv.

NOTE: I was wrong....well, I wasn't wrong but the tv was wrong. Grant Park will have 200+ porta-potties, however, any businesses will not allow the use of their public restrooms.

A Little Halloween Humor.

2008-10-28T13:18:00.002-02:00

A decision.

2008-10-26T23:13:00.003-02:00

I made a decision today.

If it does not come to me, I will got to it.

I feel much better.

ADDENDUM:
This was a cryptic post and I got a few emails on it. I simply mean that if there is something in life I want, I'm not going to wait for it anymore....I'm just going to go get it. I'm talking about things that will enrich my life...not material things.

A Poem Written By My Brother

2008-10-23T11:23:00.002-02:00

Dear Readers, my brother George is in transition, thanks to the economy. He's doing a lot of writing and has taken a stab at poetry. I love this one. For any of you who are lake people, and have lost items in the bottom of them, you might appreciate this.

Taken Away But Given Back

I told my wife and son it was a safe harbor

Safe haven for kayakers and other craft from foul weather

There along the rocky shores of Lake Superior just south of Split Rock

A day for the ages, the waves sang their song in the wind, the water shimmered

A weathered shack sat abandoned on a red-rock beach

The dock was well built with a massive wall to keep out the fickle inland sea.

Repeatedly, my son sent his fishing line soaring out into the water

My bride serene in a chair soaking it in along with the afternoon sun

I studied the massive boulders below, some the same, some different

No fish to be seen but still my boy kept casting with all of his best lures

Gitchee Gumme is a mischievous imp

Remember, she doesn’t like to give things up

Another mighty cast and the pole slipped out of my boy’s hands into the cold water

It landed on the bottom 8 feet below

My wife hushed my idea of donning my trunks from the car and taking a plunge

We scrambled to find a way to retrieve the lost rod

I scoured the beach and found an old fence pole

Rust flaked off on my hand

My wife and son rounded up a large branch

“You’re not getting this one, Superior!” I thought.

My wife, the inventor, fashioned a hook on an old glove & the pole went into the water

I touched the rod, moved it back and forth trying to snag the line. Not quite long enough

The Lake seemed to laugh as my hands cramped and the pole slipped below the waves.

Old Superior bested us that afternoon as we learned a mighty lesson

But, where she takes, she gives back

She steered us to the Temple of Gander Mountain

Oh yes, whip out the plastic and all is given back!

Copyright, George E. Kotars, Jr., 10/21/2008

I really don't know what to say about this. You tell me.

2008-10-22T00:06:00.002-02:00

Mr. Yen and the Girl Against the World....Well, at least Against Homework.

2008-10-21T22:18:00.002-02:00

I have to say....Mr. Yen is a homework machine. He has more patience with the girl guiding her through a project, while making sure she does it on her own. That's a slippery slope, for me anyway. I wholeheartedly admit to my parenting infractions, one of which being "project taker-over".

I appreciate his ability to be patient and help when asked, which in 6th grade is a whole lot. Thank you Mr. Yen, for being the shepherd so I can go run with the sheep.

When I talk about "A Time For Change" I'm Talking About Me, dammit.

2008-10-18T02:38:00.006-03:00

This is the right side of my cube at my new job. I don' have other photos posted because I am waiting for my computer.

I don't talk about politics at work. Mostly because many people know I have a blog. But, I can make an exception here, as I have ended one chapter this week and started another.

Three years ago, Grandma Yen (Mr. Yen's mom) came for a visit. It was before I started my new job before leaving the Chicago Tribune. I was so happy to get this job at an agency, I felt like I could finally move forward in my career. In the agency world, at 41, I was definitely the mother figure in the office.

Three years later, I can say that I am in a better place. My most recent position at the agency added to my skillset. I learned so much in dealing with multi-tasking, appreciating my clients and really wanting to help them.

An opportunity stumbled upon me which surprised me. It happened kinda fast and furious and I jumped at it. The truth is, I was feeling kind of stale. For a bit, I thought it was age. I worked with two younger girls in their 20's; everyone in my building on Monday morning often looked like they had just left a one-nighter. I realized after about a year of this that it wasn't age, it was boredom.

So on Thursday, I found myself at a new location, in a loft building, doing very close to a completely different job but it seems like it will be totally familiar.

In this, we learn a lesson. I was able to change things up and make them interesting, but feel comfortable and confident with my past experience. It's only been two days, but even in this economy, I feel renewed.

The end of this story is Grandma Yen came to visit this week, just like last time.

Good times.

Meals on Wheels

2008-10-14T01:09:00.003-03:00

I went to Minneapolis this weekend to visit my folks. More on that later. The funniest story out of the weekend was my almost 81 year old father telling me about his first delivery experience.

My folks live in an upscale community, Eden Prairie, Minnesota. My dad, with time on his hands is always up for a community challenge. A church, he signed up to deliver Meals on Wheels. He had a couple of people who spoke barely any English, and at 81, as spry as the man is, you can imagine how that might be a challenge.

He had seven deliveries in one day but by far, the two funniest were as follows:

He went to a high rise where he rang the doorbell several times and the lady did not answer. He called her phone number and said that he was going to leave the meals with the security office. Moments later, the lady called back, and said, "Hello, who is this?"

My father responded "This is your meals on wheels, I was going to leave it with security."

The lady frantically responded, "Don't do that, I am at Walgreens, I will be there in a few minutes."

My father was hesitant to wait, as all of the meals are hot. But when he looked at his delivery docket, the next delivery was in the same building.

After that fiasco, my dad drove a few miles to an address that was in a very exclusive upscale neighborhood. He arrived at a house that was about 5000 square feet. He rang the doorbell and no one answered. He tried several times, and no one came to the door so he went back to the car to retrieve a phone number to call the party expecting the food. It was then that he remembered the notation that said this man would never answer the door and you were to leave the food in the cooler near the door.

My dad looked around the front entry-way that was as large as his dining room, and skillfully tucked away behind the entry-way plants was a cooler. He placed the food in the cooler and went on his way.

Jesus, is this what it takes to be a volunteer these days? I guess everyone, even the needy has their "particulars". You would think they would be happy for a hot meal and leave it at that. Good for you dad, I am proud to be your daughter.

Old Tissues and Gum Wrappers

2008-10-09T00:59:00.003-03:00

What the hell? Do the people who live in my house think I work for the streets and sanitation? I am so sick of picking up old used tissues and dirty drinking glasses from the boy and a daily onslaught of gum wrappers from the girl. She loves to leave them on the floor or on the table. The boy just leaves the tissues wherever, my favorite is the dining room table.

Good Lord. Pick up your garbage kids, or it's going to wind up stuffed in your pillows.

Hey, Drunk Emailers....I Got Somethin' For Ya.

2008-10-08T15:44:00.002-03:00

This is absolutely brilliant. I hope it works. It's not just for drunk emailing, but can also be used for my specialty, "The enranged pissed-off email."----I'm excited at the prospect. If you get a nasty email from me, you will know that they have a way to go in their beta-testing.

Google's 'Mail Goggles' designed to stop the e-mail equivalent of drunk dialing
By JESSICA MINTZ
AP Technology Writer

1:02 PM CDT, October 7, 2008

SEATTLE (AP) _ Here's the scenario: It's Friday night, and what began as an innocent happy-hour margarita morphed into a few pitchers. After all, those tacos were salty.

Bidding friends adieu, you jump in a cab, head home and decide a quick e-mail check is in order. And there it is: a message from your ex. Or your boss. Or that friend you're secretly mad at.

If you're the kind of person who types tipsy and regrets it in the morning, Google's "Mail Goggles," a new test-phase feature in the free Gmail service, might save you some angst.

The Goggles can kick in late at night on weekends. The feature requires you to solve a few easy math problems in short order before hitting "send." If your logical thinking skills are intact, Google is betting you're sober enough to work out the repercussions of sending that screed you just drafted.

And if you can't multiply two times five, you'll probably thank Google in the morning.

To activate Goggles, Gmail users should click the "Settings" link at the top of a Gmail page, then go to the "Labs" section.

There's no shame in admitting that sometimes you need a little extra help. Gmail engineer Jon Perlow designed Goggles with his own weaknesses in mind.

"Sometimes I send messages I shouldn't send. Like the time I told that girl I had a crush on her over text message. Or the time I sent that late night e-mail to my ex-girlfriend that we should get back together," he wrote when announcing Mail Goggles on a company blog.

The name is derived from the slang term "beer goggles," or the curious effect of alcohol on one's ability to see the true nature of that "cutie" at the other end of the bar.

But you can set up Mail Goggles to protect you from yourself at other emotionally vulnerable times — before your morning coffee, for example, or right after "Grey's Anatomy."

Wow, and I thought I was the only one!

2008-10-07T23:11:00.001-03:00

A CNN headline tonight:

Study: 8 out of 10 Americans stressed because of economy.

Now I KNOW We Are In Trouble

2008-10-05T21:24:00.002-03:00

It's not the economy; it's not Sarah Palin....this is the headline that made me realize we better pack up and head to Canada.

'Beverly Hills Chihuahua' barks up right tree, dominates box office'

"Beverly Hills Chihuahua" was barking up the right tree with movie-goers, who put the Disney comedy at No. 1 for the weekend with a $29 million debut, according to studio estimates Sunday.

Fine is Just...Fine.

2008-10-02T17:25:00.002-03:00

I never liked the word "fine" when I was growing up. I still don't like it all that much. When someone says, "You look fine." I feel like I look blah. That's my interpretation.

The girl told me today her day was, "fine". She said she didn't feel good or bad, just emotionless. For the girl, I guess I have to go back 30 years and remember what it was like to feel like that for the first time. When you are becoming a teenager and you actually start to realize your emotions and kind of where you are in time at that exact moment. As adults, we get used to feeling "emotionless" a lot of the time....we call it, "fine".

I've realized what a blessing the word "fine" is. It means, nothing bad is happening. Sure, you might not be excited about anything at the moment, but nothing should be dragging you down. Fine is a blessing, not a curse.

Only In America

2008-09-30T21:28:00.001-03:00

Moms should be seen and not heard....I guess.

2008-09-29T01:31:00.003-03:00

I got a nice taste of the girl's teendom this weekend. First, she had Friday off and spent the day with her girlfriend from summer camp who lives in Lincoln Park. The friend's mom allows her to go to the bookstore, and around the little shops in the area. I thought that this was a good way for my girl to "test her boundaries", she was with a friend, whose mom I trust, and she had her cell phone. She had a nice day of independence and at the end of it, came home with what she thought was a $10 gold mine, an encyclopedia of rock and roll. That was cute, and I am glad she got it, she's been pouring over it.

Saturday, we had her darling and wonderful friend A's birthday party out at a go-carting track. It was fantastic, and a beautiful day. It was a bit of a drive from Chicago. I had the girl, her blonde German/American genius friend, and the two Albanian sisters in the car. On the way out, and the way back, Mel was kind of the "big girl on campus", she plugged her IPod into my car stereo and was playing all of her favorite songs. The Albanians loved this, as they are quite protected from their parents, so for twenty-five miles they were singing "My Humps" and "Hips Don't Lie". I just drove, adjusted the volume and said nothing, I must admit, I was smiling most of the time as the girls were having such a good time, and I was glad to be part of it. But in the back of my mind, I was realizing, that as the years go on, until she gets her driver's license that I am now a silent partner when they get into the car.

I am not a person who let's go.....but I am letting go, when appropriate. I can say it is for the girl....but really, it is for me. I love that kid so much, it hurts sometimes.

If you didn't see it, here it is.

2008-09-29T00:48:00.001-03:00

You know what, my Minnesota in me likes her. I know, please don't take me off your blog roll. There is no way in hell I would vote for her, but there are a lot of folks that will. She's charming, down home, and sexy. If she would just keep her mouth shut. Let's hope she doesn't.

It was the worst of times...It's kinda the worst of times.

2008-09-27T00:48:00.003-03:00

I spoke with someone close to me this evening. She said something that got me thinking....she had applied for a position where she totally hit it off with the HR person, and went in for three interviews. The woman went out of her way to tell her she would get back with her earlier this week. And of course, no phone call, and no response to an email. My close caller said, "This stuff always happens to me."

At first, I thought, "Well, that happens to everyone." Working in the HR industry of sorts, I know one of the biggest things plaguing the industry is not enough time to respond to candidates who either applied and didn't make it past the screening process; or in this case, even interviewed, and they simply did not have the time in their day to call back. They call it busy, caller and I call it rude.

Today on NPR, some money-insider who I think was a consultant for President Clinton had been advising on our current economic crisis. He said today that the problem is we are such a transactional society and have gotten away from customer service. I am sure you all know this. But it has actually trickled down to our economy. Someone can go online and apply for a loan, or call a mortgage broker, give them their social security number, driver's license, and last three addresses and employers, and BOOM, they qualify for a home loan that they can't afford; or a line of home equity that they use to pay off credit cards and get into more debt.

This guys point is (and I completely agree) that if we had to go through the old rigorous process of going to the bank, waiting to see a bank officer, sitting down for 90 minutes and filling out a long paper application, and going through a checking process, a lot of this debt never would have happened.

Society has gotten so rude. It happened to my caller tonight. It happened to me when I went to use my laptop and suddenly my Windows XP flat lined to a blue screen and I couldn't boot it up. I can't simply call the "help" line because my warranty expired and it will cost me $49 just to call. So, I will wait until Monday to bring it to my techie friend and work to see if he can fix it.

The bottom line here is, everything in the economy is ala carte pricing; unless you buy the $400 warranty. If you want to home loan or car loan and you have bad credit, no problem, you can get it quickly, but better watch out because you are going to pay for it later.

So caller, in answer to your question, "Why does this stuff always happen to me?" I'm sorry my dear, but it's happening to all of us. We need a few episodes of Leave It to Beaver and a hint of Emily Post to remember how we should act.

I'm Not Sure What To Make of All of This....

2008-09-26T01:39:00.002-03:00

When I moved back to Chicago in 1997, Jesse Ventura some how gained enough votes to run as an independent for the Governor of Minnesota. When he actually won, I was embarrassed that my father had to be alive and living in the same state to to witness that.

I'm totally embarrassed and upset that years later, my father who is 81 and mother who is 79, who both went through the depression has to see this crap that is happening in our country.

What the hell? I go to work everyday, like most of you. I pay my bills on time; I've had financially hard times, but fixed it, and make sure I have enough to not go beyond my means. I blame stupid people buying houses they can't afford; or could afford and refinanced their pants off (literally).

I am hoping it is just kind of a scarlet fever before the election. But what if it's not? How many times can Warren Buffett bail out an investment company that is going belly-up with $5 billion? And is $7 billion going to really do it?

I don't know....and I'm sorry mom and dad, that you have to see this.

Thank God for Home Depot

2008-09-21T20:36:00.002-03:00

So, we have this hallway that is a breeding zone of coats of every season, grocery bags, shoes, winter stuff, summer stuff, duffel bags. You name it. We have no extra room in this house and looking at that eye sore every morning before I went to work just pushed me over the edge this weekend.

I'm pretty happy. for $80.00 bucks I was able to paint, and put in three shelves; and add a bunch of baskets to move all of that crap off of my big wicker basket and put them where they go.

Mr. Yen was nice enough to finish the painting for me and hang the shelves....but of course, I am the idea person and he is worker. Isn't that how it is in all marriages? These photos are not the best, because the space is so small, but you get the idea.

There Are Certain Movies

2008-09-18T12:45:00.004-03:00

Hey Blog Family,

Do me a favor and check out my brother Gordon's new blog. He's a newbie, and needs some readers besides his wife and his sister. You remember those days, don't ya?

He's writing about a new movie with Dennis Quaid about the Syracuse Orangemen legend Ernie Davis titled "The Express".

I could tell by the previews that I was going to have an attachment to this film. It's based in Syracuse, but much of it was filmed in Chicago at Lane Tech High School, less than a mile from my house. There are just certain films that give me that comfort feeling. Some others are; Purple Rain; Untamed Heart; While You Were Sleeping; and of course, the grand champion FARGO. The movie has nothing to do with anything, it's all the tiny locations where I used to hang out.

I just love movies like that.

A Gushy Gram from my Brother and Sister-in-Law

2008-09-15T17:13:00.000-03:00

Create Your Own GushyGram
Visit MushyGushy.com

40 Didn't Suck

2008-09-15T13:34:00.000-03:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Now this was a GREAT use of taxpayer dollars!

2008-09-07T11:41:00.003-03:00

My friend Ann in Minneapolis is a wild child. It is ironic that the first time she get's arrested, it is for peaceful protesting. Ann was swooped up in the massive arrest last week at the RNC in St. Paul. For Christ sake, she had a sign that said, "Deadheads for Obama". I thought I would share this part of an email that she sent me yesterday, this is describing what she had to go through to get her stuff back.

Jody and I went through the Democratic process of calling and e mailing our elected officials to retreive my property unjustly held from me for days. When I was released, they held everyone's bag, backpack, purses, cameras- you name it- they said until Monday Sept 8th- 4 days??????? I thought that to be insane and illegal so I started to make some phone calls to get my shit back.We first called the Ramsey Co. Attorney (Susan Gaertner), then the St.Paul Atty. John Choi who called the Police cheif Harrignton and Peter Paqnos, then we e mailed St. Paul mayor Chris Coleman and then Rep. John Lesch, then the Ramsey County Comm. Janice Rettman, the Ramsey Co. Sheriff's office and finally the city of St. Paul- all yesterday. Today, Peter Panos called us back and told me I could come down to the Jail to get my bag (glasses, phone, keys, ID, wallet- everything essential to me) THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE! I hope the other hundreds of folks make the same calls we did- a lot of people don't know what their rights are or how to follow through- I am learning myself and acting! Thought you'd want to be kept posted....

Door County 2008

2008-09-01T22:19:00.002-03:00

So, this was the first time in six years that I haven't been to Minnesota for Labor Day. Since we just had our family reunion, I felt like I wanted to break with tradition this year and take the girl someplace where neither one of us has been since 9/11. We had a wonderful time with Mel's friend from school and her little sister and their folks Wendy and Guido. It was so nice to go back to a place and be able to create new memories and still savor the one's I had. This was a particularly brutal summer for me, and I am totally looking forward to the fall. The girl is doing great, and this was a lovely way to close one chapter and open and another one. Enjoy.

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If You Know Me, You Think I Am A Dreamer...but Surpise, I am a Realist, I Hope You Are, Too. Or...A Great Day For America

2008-08-27T01:46:00.003-03:00

Okay my loves, fresh off the Hilary speech, I think I have a little bit to say.

What do I have that You Don't Have

I'm not sure. I am a 40 year old woman with big hips. I work over 40 hours a week in a job that I struggle with so I can have health insurance. I have a husband in school full time, don't own a house anymore, and am not sure how I am going to contribute my kid's college. I think there are a few hundred thousand if not million people who are in the same situation. I've got aging parents who have worked all of their lives, when I know my own father has at 80 years old has been thinking of a part time job. I've got a best friend, with chemical problems, who can't find a job; and I've got more than a handful of close friends who are in the newspaper industry who have either lost their jobs, or are constantly on the brink of losing them. I've got extremely close friends that are struggling with their small business despite working 60 hour work weeks, because of the state of the retail industry, and I've got a family member with a tiny darling child suffering from leaukemia who is battling that battle while surely struggling to keep their house.

This is America, right now.

I also have rent that I can handle. I've got a husband in school at 47 trying to get an education for a 2nd career although he has two degrees and a teaching certificate because the education system kinda failed him. I've got a job. My kids are in school and getting a decent education. I've got insurance. My parents have a home. And with five brothers and sisters, and 6 nieces and nephews who are young adults struggling to find theiir way in this new world. I've got one nephew in one of the best school systems in America; and I've got a car and can buy groceries. I can take my kid out to dinner and to see movies, and my husband can try for his new career and still pay the bills while tough at time.

With all that said, it's amazing that I have all of this with the situation we are in. Geore Bush sucks.

Hilary asked tonight that all of the people out their who are holding out to vote for her to please vote for Barack. Please do.

I watched the speech from Hilary tonight with the girl and Mr. Yen. I am going to keep this short. These two weeks are full of rhetoric, and I am staunch Hilary supporter. I am going to do what she asked because this party needs to unite, now. I like the man; I like Joe Biden, he lost his first wife and his daughter and was sworn in at his child's bedside; he plagarized in a speech and made a mistake; and he came back from behind. I love the guy.

And you know what, I don't hate McCain. I have a lot of respect for that man. Unfortunately, GWB did enough damage that any Republican right now, will have the same problem. No Republican, even if it was Eisenhauer moving in after GWB, would be able to fix what has happened. We need a democrat, and we need it yesterday.

Please, remember what Hilary said, I am summarizing. Were you supporting her, or supporting the GI's in Iraq, or the single mother who adopted the kids who have autism and she has cancer. Get over your Hilary dream and do what she asks....Please vote for Barack Obama. Do it for you and all the people you love.

A Family of Heros

2008-08-25T03:28:00.003-03:00

So, it's hard for me to post this. My sister (who is technically my sister-in-law) lost her brother this weekend, Charlie Fay. He was only 57, and he succumbed to cancer. Colleen, met my brother in high school, and they got married in 1977. An excruciating hot day in an non-air conditioned hot gym at a Catholic Church.

In 1973, my family parted ways at the McDonald's in Syracuse. The three oldest stayed in Syracuse because I think they were 18, 19, and 20. The other three of us went to Minnesota with my folks because my dad had been transferred. Within a couple of years, my sister Leslie and my brother Mark came up to Minnesota. The only hold out was Gordon. He stayed in Syracuse to be with his high school sweetheart.

I was a wee-lass, but I remember Colleen and her family as a second family. I spent a lot of time at her mother Rita's house. Her mother had a trash compactor, which I thought was totally cool. Of course, I was only five or six. I remember her brothers and her sister Ellen, being at the house. I so wish I remembered more, but I don't.

Usually when a family member passes, I like to remember them in a blog post. It makes me feel like I can contribute because I am stuck here in Chicago, and can't always make it back for the services.

What I know about Charlie is that he loved Colleen, he played in a band and was a drummer, and will be buried with his drumsticks. The girl's father is a drummer, and I have always had a soft spot for drummers. Rest in peace, Charlie.

I guess what I would like to talk about here is Colleen. Followed by this post are photos from less than a month ago at my family reunion. My brother Gordon and sister-in-law Colleen raised two beautiful kids, Gregory and Melissa. Gregory is the oldest out of my nieces and nephews and of course, they feel like a cross between my own siblings and my kids. In fact, Greg is less in age to me than my oldest sibling. We are only 12 years apart.

Gordon and Colleen, in times like this, with your family so far away, please look at your children. LOOK AT THEM. Damn, these kids are amazingly wonderful human beings. You guys did such a good job with them, and I have to believe that part of that is the tapestry in which we were raised....and Charlie had a part of that.

Love them, educate them, appreciate them, and appreciate each other.

I hope you know that although we are 1000 miles apart, I think of all four of you every day of my life. I am so glad that you guys had a part in raising me; and that I have, even from far away been able to help them; and in turn, you have helped with the girl.

Remember that families are forever. Charlie is with your mom and dad; and you can find peace in the fact that he is part of you and your children, my brother, my sister, my niece and my nephew.

I love you guys.

Would You Buy a Titsling or Would You Buy a Brassiere?

2008-08-23T10:50:00.003-03:00

The first backless bra was invented by a New York Socialite and her maid that were two hankerchiefs sewn together with pink ribbon.

In 1922 a seamstress at Enid's Frocks in NY realized that one bra did not fit every woman and with $4500 U.S. dollars, the invention of different cup sizes was invented.

With the invention of the WonderBra, I am still waiting on the perfect bra, one that fits me around without leaving little pockets in the cup department.

There is nothing like taking that bra off at the end of the day.

Boring or Bored?

2008-08-23T00:00:00.003-03:00

Have you ever gone through a time in your life where you feel like you are just going through the motions? Nothing is paritcularly bad; nothing is particularly exciting, your not depressed, but your not jumping for joy?

Is this most days for most people?

While I sure don't think I am depressed, I'm having a hard time connecting to anything besides what I am supposed to connect to. I feel naturally connected to my girl and boy; getting ready to go back to school, looking forward to the fall, blah blah blah. I guess that is just how I feel right now, blah.

While I have dealt with depression a great deal in my family, and know that I am not feeling or exhibiting those signs, I just don't feel like there is any particular thing going on at the moment to be "excited" about. I think lately, I have been trying to be excited about myself...and I think I have realized, I'm kinda boring...or perhaps just bored.

I am excited about Obama's announcement in the next few hours. While many of you may disagree, I hope it is Hillary, though I know she is the dark horse. Hillary and Bill excite me. I wonder if they think they are boring.

Wrap Your Arms Around It, or Walk Away

2008-08-21T13:46:00.002-03:00

Here I am, blowing the dust off of my blog. Feeling like I have neglected it, along with my child, and housework, and myself. Work has sucked me in, business hours and after hours. When I dream about the guy that handles the recycling boxes and he is talking to me in my dream about putting plastic in the bin, I know it is getting to be a bit too much.

So, what I've tried to do is embrace it instead of hate it. But I am trying to do that while leaving it at work and not bringing it home with me, but what happens is I fall alseep because I am so tired of the day.

The girl and I are going on vacation next week over the Labor Day weekend. Thank goodness for Mr. Yen and his schedule, he's been a huge help and Melody has loved "Camp Brian" this August. I'm looking forward to the school year and regular schedules.

I'm Sucked In....

2008-08-10T21:22:00.003-03:00

I'm so tired of the bitching about Beijing, the internet, Tibet....

Only for a couple weeks, of course. Don't ruin my high man, it's the Olympics. I dont have any interest in where the Olympics are held. Sure, it's hugely important to the economy of the host city, but once all of the athletes, the coaches, the workers, and the patrons arrive, does it really matter where they are?

With the exception of an occassional tennis tournemant, you aren't going to see me tuning into too many sports. I love the combination of the events, the touchy-feely stories, and all the fabulous commercials.

With the price of gas; the housing market, and the rate of unemployent, it's nice to see a boatload of money being poured into Olympic Sponsorship. According to Business Week, the Chinese don't care.

In a recent study, CMR found that almost 80% of Chinese consumers don't care who the actual Olympic sponsors are. What's worse, many consumers don't even know: Some 40% of those surveyed thought Nike (NKE) was the Games' official sportswear partner (half of the respondents correctly named Adidas). That means the ambush marketing has been effective.

I heard that 40% of the people polled thought Pepsi was the official sponsor versus 60% for Coke. Coke spent $70 million so far, as well as $5 to $15 million.

It doesn't matter to me, I fall for this red white and blue crap all the time. Except when Bob Costas was interviewing President Bush....that was hilarious.

Kotars Family Reunion 2008

2008-08-06T12:58:00.001-03:00

Here is a taste of our family reunion at the Meadowbrook Resort in the Wisconsin Dells.

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The Family that Sticks Is Rare...and Baby, I've Got that Family.

2008-08-05T02:49:00.000-03:00

Remembering Nights....Not so Long ago.

2008-07-31T03:32:00.005-03:00

I have posted, and Mr. Yen has posted about our first date. I'm not going to revisit that, but I want to revisit that time....compared to now.

Then, back about four years ago, I was living in a back apartment 3 doors down from Wrigley. A somewhat charming space, with a huge kitchen, but a slanted living room floor and a bedroom for me that my big hips had to turn sideways to get into my bed. My daughter needed a larger room with all her clothes and her toys, and books, so she had the big bedroom. On a side note, we did have the best bathroom I've ever had in my life, and we could sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame right from our backdeck. If you have ever been or known a single parent, I am sure you are aware of the trials and tribulations. I always felt guilty about calling myself a single parent, because the girl's father has always participated in every way necessary and I've not been alone in that way.

That said, when I met Mr. Yen, I had dated a few men that didn't measure up to what I would have wanted, number one, for the girl, and number two, for me.

The first six weeks of our relationship seemed like three months. We connected so quickly, and sweetly, I wonder now if people thought we were rushing.

The point of my post is that back then, Mr, Yen lived in the house we all live now, he would somehow cram us in on a weeknight or two and come over. He usually came around 8pm, spend a bit of time with the girl and then when she would go to bed, we would relax in the kitchen with a bottle of wine, my Imac G3, and a bunch of CD's that he made for me, or I would share with him. He was teaching at that point, and had an early early morning, considering mine was considered early, having to leave by 7am was rough. The phone conversation went like this:

Mr. Yen: "I'll come over for some wine and then go home."

What would happen after sharing a bottle of wine was, "Is it okay with you if I stay here."

If you could know, what it was like for me to have that security there, it was like God sent me a gift. I don't think I have the quote exactly but it was something like, "Just my luck...God sent the perfect man for me and he is an atheist." All the same, that bedroom was so small, I had a window unit air conditioner. Mr. Yen would sleep directly below the air conditioning draft and wake up with a neck ache, but he took it like the man he is.

Mr. Yen was the first person who loved me and loved the girl with no baggage. It was so much more than that. He "got me". After working at the Chicago Tribune in a hell-job that I was not hired on for, shlepping it home on the train, making dinner, doing homework, talking and playing with the girl...the idea of having an adult conversation, even at 11 pm was a welcome welcome relief. Of course, I love my daughter more than words could ever say, our time alone together connected us in a way that we have only learned and permantly bonded from. I would not trade that time with her, as rough as it was for me, for anything in the world.

On the nights that Mr. Yen could not come over, we had two hour conversations when he got off of his part time waiting job and would talk until I fell asleep.

Fast-forward today. My charming, yet annoying apartment is long gone. Mr. Yen said in the last months I was gone, "I'm going to miss this kitchen." And he does.

He is now laying next to me every night. Things are so different. He's at work on the nights when I am off, and our schedules are pretty much opposite. The true facts of life that I am type-A (and he thinks I am ADD) and he is not (and I think He is ADD) has taken over. We often miss each other with schedules....

We do get to talk; but it is often about kids; work, school; household stuff. I don't honestly know if he gets the same thrill when he sees me....I know I get it when I see him. But things have changed.....

But the fact that the phone rings at work and it's a call from my husband, I still get a thrill; so you see, it's not the kitchen you are sitting in, or the room you are sleeping in.....it's the person that is snoring next to you....(him, not me)....

We love our kids, they love each other, and they love us, so I guess things are pretty good...Despite the loss of late night phone calls and the thrill of him ringing my doorbell.

Looking Forward

2008-07-31T01:49:00.006-03:00

I worked today from 9:30a.m. and got home at 9pm. If I want to take Friday off without any consequences from clients going into a tizzy, I need to spend time after hours prepping for tomorrow, so I can manage my tasks in a timely manner to get out of there at 5pm.

God, that was a pathetic boring sentence. This summer has been hard to watch. Husband has gotten to spread his wings in school and while of course he has been working hard with school, two jobs, fetching kids, spending time with kids, I am strangely jealous. I'm working from the minute I get to work to the minute I leave, and then a bit on some nights and at least a few hours on the weekends.

And for what....basically to keep my job. Don't get me wrong, I like my job for the most part; but I'm tired of trying to catch up all the time. It would be so refreshing to walk in and say, "Hmmm, I wonder what will come in my mailbox today."
My office is simply overworked and understaffed. And, I guess, in this economy I should be thanking my lucky stars that I have a job.

So to not digress, this is not a bitch post. Friday we go to my family reunion. I feel like all summer I have been catching a quick summer moment in snippets....going to the beach ! DAY; seeing my step-son play his world-series game, for 3 innings, because I was working; going on one date with my husband.

On Friday, I get a car ride into Wisconsin with Mr., Boy, and Girl Yen. I get the full-on experience of the World's biggest water park, Noah's Ark. Hopefully the heat will not overtake me; hopefully the stairs to the giant slides won't kill me, and I will be ready to enter the resort on Friday afternoon with bathing suit, family, and perhaps a cocktail in hand.

We had to twist a few arms to come this year. We do it every three years; since last time, we've lost a few of the first generation; the economy has hit all of us hard, and I am winkingly calling this the "Patchwork Family Reunion" because it was all put together hodge podge. But I think it's going to be a good time.

Monday, I will be back at work; either recharged or exhausted, and happy to share the stuff that happens with all of you.

Have a great weekend...........we'll be at Meadowbrook Resort in the Dell's if you want to come by for a brat.

Praying Mantis

2008-07-28T00:18:00.003-03:00

Today I got in the car to run errands around 5pm. I got into my "salsa red" Jetta and sitting perfectly in my side-view driver's mirror was this little guy. He rode with me all the way to Target; I was going about 40 mph. I got out of the car, bought my stuff; went to the grocery store, and came home two hours later.

When I was taking groceries out of the car he was hanging on the opposite side, passenger side-view mirror.

The dream interpreter says the following about the praying mantis.

To see a praying mantis in your dream, suggests that you are in a destructive relationship. It may also indicate that you are preying on others or that you are behaving deviously.

Though I didn't dream about him; I am hoping this interpretation is not a reality. I know that I am not behaving deviously.

I took his presence as a sign of hanging on and sticking around.

I don't know. He sure looked pretty on my car, though.

Baby we were born to run....and then collapse

2008-07-24T12:32:00.003-03:00

Well dear readers; I've been waiting to post until I got some images to go with it. I'm surprised my hips didn't take up the whole frame.

Sunday started with a storm at 5am. I was rolling over in bed hoping it would keep raining. I got up at 5:20, woke up the girl and we drove down to Montrose Harbor. The sun broke into a glorious day by the lake and all of my excuses were over....we had to run.

We warmed up, started running and stayed right; so the uber-runners could pass us. Lots of feet went by. Overall I think we did a decent job considering I had racked up my ankle and the girl was in Florida, so we really didn't have a regular training program. We ran half and walked half; and we finished between 46 and 48 minutes. The girl was two minutes ahead of me.

At one point the vein in my head was beating along with my feet hitting the ground. The girl kept up really well and was full on energy when we finished. When I looked behind me, it was a bunch of ladies with strollers and old ladies in there Lark Carts. (Kidding...kind of).

The best part of course, besides the finish line, was having breakfast with the girl and my Mimosa.

I think we will do it again; but train more. It was a bit brutal for that early in the morning, but I think we are both super happy we did it, all the same.